Songs of the Hash

The Hash Hymnal and Magic/Zippy Song Book have thousands of songs. These are a few of BAH3’s favorites:

• Visitior’s Song
  Melody – Underdog Theme By Hazukashii, Samurai HHH   SONGMASTER: There’s no need to fear!   PACK: We’ve got lots of beer!   When visitors in this hash appear, And pay five bucks to drink our beer, And offend all those who see or hear, The cry goes out both far and near to, DRINK

• Jack’s Brother, Earl
  I’m Jacks brother Earl (….na na na na na ..) i exhumed a little girl…. brought her back to my place…. brushed the bugs off of her face…. she had them hollow cheeks…. and that sexy decomposing reek…. she gave me a toothy grin…. when i stuck my c**k in…. i f**ked her in the eye-hole….

• The Any Cock’ll DoMe Rap
  BAH3 got a wanker named “Any Cock’ll Do Me” Raised up in the time of Pres’dent Sock-it-too-me Little man in the boat? Wanker, pleez, he’s the captain Got his 10 dollaz ready for some hot-bunk action He don’t impress the ladies with his 6-pack abs Instead he snatch them bitches with a 6-pack grab But

• Hot Carl
  Sing to Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls” Hot Carl, duhn duhn Talking ’bout Hot Carl Hot Carl, duhn duhn Talking ’bout Hot Carl, Yeah! Well I wake up from a nap (echo)  (from a nap) My face is covered in Saran wrap (Saran Wrap) I look up and see butt cheeks, OOOOHHHHHH, here comes a steamy

• Hashing 3 to 5
    (to the tune of 9-5)   Hashing 3 to 5….. What a way to spend a Sunday.   And were getting by…. Drinking beer and dodging shiggy.   And we run ahead… But the cops won’t seem to let us.   I swear some time those muggles are out to get us!

• My Name is Pearl
  My name is Pearl. My favorite sex position’s cowgirl. I like to do it with the dead; They never ask me to give head.   But I get frustrated… When rigor mortis has abated. Once they’re not stiff, I climb down off ’em And close the cover on their coffin.

• My Name is Judy
    My name is Judy, My favorite stiff’s a real beauty.   Though his pecker’s soft and thin, I find his femur slides right in.   Most girls like their guys aware.   I prefer his lifeless stare.   So what if he’s dead?   At least he doesn’t fart in bed.

• Down Down: His Cock Aroma
    bonus simple tune (to La Cucaracha) that anyone should be able to memorize.   His cock aroma, his cock aroma, made her gag when she went down. His cock aroma, his cock aroma made her gag when she went down. down down down   – Anycock

• I Don’t Want to Sober Up
  I don’t want to sober up I’m a debaucherous kid There’s a million hasher ’round the world the I can drink with More shiggy, more beer, more titties, oh shit It’s the coolest drinking club there is.  Gee Whiz! I don’t want to sober up because if I did, I couldn’t be a debaucherous kid

• BAH3 Rap — The 2011 RE-MIX
  We are the hashers of the Be-AACH THREE Representin’ the land of PLUH-ZENT SHIG-GEE We holla ON ON so you know we aroun’ Gonna bus’ up some suds when we COME TO YO’ TOWN You know we got game, because WE ALL SUCH PLAYAS Put our green dresses on and ALL YELL ‘YE-AHHH’! An’ you

• A Few of My Favorite Things
  Vibrators, Dildos and vaseline jelly, That’s what I use to set fire in my belly, In and out up and down–feels like a dream, All by myself w/my favorite things. Men are useless, I don’t need them, I’m the best I have had. All that I need are my favorite things, Cause I’m just so

• Sound of Hashers
  Melody – Do, Re, Mi (Sound of Music)   Give (name) a beer, a really big beer, We will watch him drink it down. Girls, you know if he drinks it all, He will never get it up. Oh, the stories sad to tell, It picked up and then it fell. You would die if

• Calling All Hashers
  (sung to Oh say say playmate) Hey all you hashers, come out and drink with meTrail some shiggy and see some tittiesGet your clothes muddyAct like a drunken clownNow all you hashersJust drink it down down down

• It’s My Body
  It's my body and I'll touch what I want to, touch whatI want to, touch what I want to – you'd touch me tooif I let you down down down down down down…(even better if you actually touch the parts you wantto during the song)

• BAH3 F U Rap
  We are the B-AcH THREE and we like a shiggy RUN We da kennel that put da F U in FUN We yell ON ON so you know we a-ROUND And get da Natty Bo on when we drink da DOWN DOWN   [particpants: shout out THREE, RUN, F U, ON ON, DOWN DOWN

• Basic BAH3 Rap
  These are hashers of the B- AcH THREE Da kennel hashes THE land of pluh-ZENT shig-GEE We holla ON ON so you know we a-ROUND And get da NattyBO on when we drink da DOWN DOWN [note: BAH3 is "Bi Otch 3" in rap speak;  throw out the 3 sign when yelling THREE yo;  shout out THREE, GEE, ON

• This Hand is Your Hand
  (tune: this land is your land) This hand is your hand; this gland is my gland now rub it slowly, and make my junk stand now rub it round and round and drink my goo down down down down… your hand was made to stroke my gland

• What We Love
  (tune Allouette) Masturbation, we love masturbation Masturbation, it is what we love First we stroke with our right hand then we stroke with our left hand our right hand our left hand our right hand our left hand oh oh oh oh masturbation, we love masturbation masturbation, it is what we love

• The Virgin Song
  (sung to Billy Joel’s tune, Virginia)  Come out, you virgins, come meet your fate, the hash is a blast why did you wait? I’d rather hash with the sinners than cry with the saints, the hashers are much more fun, so tell us who made you come…

• I’m A Little Hasher
  (I'm a little teapot) I'm a little hasher, horny and drunk -there is her bumand here is my junk, when I get all worked up I whitit out, I bend her over an make her shout…drink itdown…

• I Don’t Wanna
  (sung to the Toys R Us theme song) I don't wanna sober up, I'm a debaucherous kid,there're so many half-minds here that I can drink withMore shiggy, more beer, more titties, oh sh@t, it'sthe greatest fuc@in' club there is (gee whiz)I don't wanna sober up, cuz baby if I did, I couldn'tbe a debaucherous kid….drink

• Little Brown Mouse
  Well, the liquor was spilled on the barroom floor and the shop was closed for the night, When out of his hole came a little brown mouse and he sat in the pale moon light, He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor and back on his haunches he sat, All night long you

• In Women’s Underwear
  Sung [by men] to the tune of Winter Wonderland: Lacey things my wife is missin'Didn't ask for her permissionI'm wearin' her clothes, her silk panty hoesWalkin round' in women's underwear In the store there's a teddywith little straps like spagetteIt holds me so tight like handcuffs at nightWalkin' round in women's underwear In the office

• Dough, Ray, Me
  Melody – Do, Re, Mi (Sound of Music)  Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer, Ray, the guy who sells me beer, Me, the guy, who drinks me beer, Fa, a long way to the john, So, I'll have another beer, La, I'll have another beer, Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer, And that

• You’re Stupid, You’re Stupid
  Melody – Chant You're stupid, you're stupid You're really fucking dumb If it wasn't for your mother You'd be a stain of cum!

• Where Were You Last Week
  Melody – Where Oh Where Were You Last Night (from Hee Haw)  Where, Oh Where were you last week? Why did you make us hash all alone?   You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren't even here. So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.   Down, Down, Drink it all Down Drink

• We’ve Got Virgins
  Melody – Frere Jacques We've got virgins, We've got virgins, At our hash, At our hash, Gonna get'em drunked up, Gonna get'em fucked up, Down the hatch, Up the ass,   So drink it down, down, down . . .

• They Ought To Be Publicly Pissed On
  Melody – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean  They ought to be publicly pissed on, They ought to be publicly shot, They ought to be tied to a urinal, And left there to fester and rot, Drink it down, down, down . . .

• His One-Skin
  Melody – My Bonnie Lies Over the  Ocean  His one skin hangs down to his two skin, His two skin hangs down to his three, His three skin hangs down to his foreskin, His foreskin hangs down to his knee. Drink it down, down, down . . .   OPTIONAL VERSES: Roll back, roll back,

• He’s the Meanest
  Melody – Itself  He's the meanest, He sucks the horse's penis, He's the meanest, He's a horse's ass.   All he does is pound it, Ever since he found it, He's the meanest, He's a horse's ass.   He's always pissing on us, He's rotten and dishonest, He's the meanest, He's a horse's ass. So

• Here’s to ______
  Melody – Itself VERSION # 1 Here's to     , He's true blue, (he's a blue) He's a Hasher, Through and through, He's a pisspot, (he's an asshole) So they say, Tried to go to heaven, (he'll never get to heaven) But he went the other way, (in a long, long way) So drink it down,

• Down Down Down Your Beer
  Melody – Row Row Row Your Boat Down Down Down your beer, To pay for your crime. Quit complaining about the taste, There's no sperm this time.

• Soldier Song
  Melody – Itself  Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be, To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee, For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen, Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole, A soldier I will be.  Drink it down, down, down . . .

• My Name is Jack
  Melody – Itself  My name is Jack (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum), I'm a necrophiliac (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum), I fucks dead wimmen (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum), And I fills 'em full of jism. I get frustrated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum), When they're cremated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum), Cause try as I must (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum), I can't fuck dust!

• Meet the Hashers
  Melody – Flintstones Theme Hashers, meet the hashers, They're the biggest drunks in history, From Las Vegas, N-V (or your favorite town), They're the leaders in debauchery. Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years, Watch them as they down a lot of beers, Down down, down down down down, Down down down down down down

• Love Me Tender
  Melody – Love Me Tender Love me tender, love me sweet Wrap your lips around my meat Watch me smile and watch me grin As the cum rolls down, down, down, down, down etc . .

• If Your Boyfriend Tastes Like Shit
  Melody – If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands If your boyfriend tastes like shit, turn him over, If your boyfriend tastes like shit, turn him over, If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's probably pushing it, If your boyfriend tastes like shit, turn him over. Alternate version:If your boyfriend tastes like

• If You Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit
  Melody – If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over, If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over, If your girlfriend tastes like shit, its her asshole not her clit, If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over.

• Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder
  Melody – Side by Side Put your left leg over my shoulder, Put your right leg over my shoulder, (wag tongue) La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.   Put your left tit over my shoulder, Put your right tit over my shoulder, (shake head) Bla bla bla bla bla,

• Our Lager
  (Prayer)  Our Lager Which art in barrels,Hallowed be thy drink.Thy will be drunk,I will be drunk,At home as in the tavern.Give us this day our foamy head,And forgive us our spillages,As we forgive those who spill against us.And lead us not into incarceration,But deliver us from hangovers.For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the