Vibrators, Dildos and vaseline jelly,
That’s what I use to set fire in my belly,
In and out up and down–feels like a dream,
All by myself w/my favorite things.
Men are useless,
I don’t need them,
I’m the best I have had.
All that I need are my favorite things,
Cause I’m just so good (oh!) when I’m bad.
Melody – Do, Re, Mi (Sound of Music)
(sung to Oh say say playmate)
Hey all you hashers, come out and drink with me
Trail some shiggy and see some titties
Get your clothes muddy
Act like a drunken clown
Now all you hashers
Just drink it down down down
It's my body and I'll touch what I want to, touch what
I want to, touch what I want to – you'd touch me too
if I let you down down down down down down…
(even better if you actually touch the parts you want
to during the song)
We are the B-AcH THREE and we like a shiggy RUN
We da kennel that put da F U in FUN
We yell ON ON so you know we a-ROUND
And get da Natty Bo on when we drink da DOWN DOWN
[particpants: shout out THREE, RUN, F U, ON ON, DOWN DOWN
These are hashers of the B- AcH THREE
Da kennel hashes THE land of pluh-ZENT shig-GEE
We holla ON ON so you know we a-ROUND
And get da NattyBO on when we drink da DOWN DOWN
[note: BAH3 is "Bi Otch 3" in rap speak; throw out the 3 sign when yelling THREE yo; shout out THREE, GEE, ON ON, DOWN DOWN; ]
(tune: this land is your land)
This hand is your hand; this gland is my gland
now rub it slowly, and make my junk stand
now rub it round and round
and drink my goo down down down down…
your hand was made to stroke my gland
(tune Allouette)
Masturbation, we love masturbation
Masturbation, it is what we love
First we stroke with our right hand
then we stroke with our left hand
our right hand
our left hand
our right hand
our left hand
oh oh oh oh
masturbation, we love masturbation
masturbation, it is what we love
(sung to Billy Joel’s tune, Virginia)
Come out, you virgins, come meet your fate,
the hash is a blast why did you wait?
I’d rather hash with the sinners than cry with the saints,
the hashers are much more fun,
so tell us who made you come…
(I'm a little teapot)
I'm a little hasher, horny and drunk -there is her bum
and here is my junk, when I get all worked up I whit
it out, I bend her over an make her shout…drink it
down…