Hash Trash #1269 – AGM and 69 Beer Check Trail

Hash #1269 – AGM and 69 Beer Check Trail
Sunday, May 27
It was a good day at Generals Corridor Park. Families barbequed, children played, but under one pavilion, a group of certain wankers had a different way of having fun. Normally around this time of year, it comes time for the AGM (Annual General Meeting) where the outgoing MM (Mis-Management) switches out with the incoming MM. While the AGM would indeed be held that day, this would not just be an AGM trail, for it was BAH3’s 1269th trail, providing an event that only comes once every two years: the 69 Beer Check Trail with… you guessed it, 69 beer checks, a glorious event that no hasher should ever miss!
                The hares for the day were Bobbin’ for Buttplugs, At your Cervix and Silence of the clams. The hashers in attendance included: Velvet Vulva, $5 Infection, Pump N Dump, Fag Whore, Works for Tips, Ass Ogre, Just Bill, Just Aubrey, Rim Tin Tin, Stick it in my Socket, Tighter Than urAnus, Monk She See Monk She Blew, ZZ Bottom the 3rd, Call DDD, 3 West, As Long as it’s In, Just Dillon, Bourbon Street Bitch, P2B Free, Just Diane, Just Joe, Just Patrick, Just David, Old Faithful, Taint my Juicy Pie, Couff, Hosehead, One Night Stand, Sex Apnea, Clean up in Aisle 3 and Cheapass Gigolo.
                While most BAH3 trails were dead trails, today’s 69 trail would be live, why? Because there would be one beer check every 100 yards, bad idea or utter perfection? Well, that is why we are called half minds….  The trail started off simple enough, heading down the sidewalk around the park, and the front runners were happy to arrive at their first beer check, and their 2nd, 3rd and 4th, looking back at the walkers that arrived at the check just as the cans were being finished. As time went on however, as the beer piled on, and the hills grew more abundant, those aspiring wankers started slowing down to the point where at certain parts of the trail, some of the walkers were towards the front! The hours passed by. Had it not been for the paper bags numbering each beer check, the pack would have soon lost track of how many beers they had gone through. It wasn’t long before a check here and there held not a can of natty, but a 40, giving the dfls plenty of time to catch up and also partake of our lord’s sweet nectar. The hares balanced things out a bit though, for while our spirits were raised with the 40s, the trail was sprinkled with empty cans as well. The wankers shook their fists at the heavens.
                Had it not been for the constant supply of beer, many memorable moments may not have occurred. Some of these moments included the trail pack fighting for their lives as they waded through a field of swamp/mud that could have been mistaken for quick sand; Old Faithful bragging about his long black hose, almost instigating a fight to the death between old faithful and ZZ; Just Diane admiring all the wonderful shaggy and making everyone well aware of it.
                After three hours, the trail had ended to everyone’s dismay. Before long, Circle kicked off with the pack scolding the hares for such a SHITTY TRAIL: “not enough mud”, “too dry”, “too flat”, etc. The hares hung their heads in shame. The overachievers and underachievers turned out to be Just Dillon as the Front Running Bastard, Tighter Than urAnus as the First Bitch In and Call DDD as Dead Fucking Last. Fag Whore was visiting from Sin City H3 of Cincinnati, and the Clean up and Gigolo got violated for being smart enough to auto hash. Other Violations included Hosehead for having new shoes, Fag Whore for Racist Behavior, One Night Stands mad chicken stripping skills and Just Diane and Clean up for sex in circle.
                After violations, it came time to kick the old MM out, and bring in the new. So for May 2012 – May 2013, BAH3’s MM is:
                GM: Five Dollar
                RA Primary: Any Cock
                RA Backup: PnD
                Hare Razor: Tighter Than urAnus
                Haberdasher: Works 4 Tips
                Hash Cash Primary: Cervix
                Song Meister: Cheap-ass Gigolo
                Co – Scribes: Taint My Juicy Pie and A Phone Named Gerbil
                Hash Flash Primary: PnD
                Hash Flash Backup: $5i
                Webmucker: Ponyboy
                Book Bitch: Clams
                Beer Bitch: ZZB3
The circle ended with the pack running Cervix and Hosehead through the gauntlet to celebrate their Birthdays. Hosehead was on cloud 9 as she went through the line on her back peering up at all the kilt wearer’s goods. The day went on with food, drink and a group playing some sort of game including a hammer and stump on wood, I’m not sure what was going on there. Thus concludes the 2012 AGM and 69 beer Check Trail.
On, On
Taint My Juicy Pie

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