Hash Trash #1160

Bowie again – third times a charm.  Good thing about being a hare is that you pick the location and can keep it close to home.  Our hares for the run were Slowman and Any Cock’ll Do Me.  Slowman announced at the chalk talk that the walkers trail would be 5.5 miles and the runners would be 7.5.  I guess that the hares were going to honor Mothers Day by putting on the mother of all walking trails.  Slowman’s reason for the length of the runs was that EZ and Saintly Suds had longcutted his trail 2 weeks ago and ran about 7 miles total and if they could run 7 miles than anyone should be able to.  As an incentive not to shortcut the trail the hares announced that there would be a shot stop and two beer stops on the run – and there was much rejoicing by the pack.


A pack of 18 braved the cool windy temperatures.  Pack was graced by visitor Fire in the Hole from Fort Walton Beach HHH as well as transplant General Ass Pounder from Boston who is attending school in Baltimore and only shows up when his frig is out of beer.  The rest of the pack included Hash Cash harassers EZ Lipps and Saintly Suds as well as Sex Apnea, Pump and Dump, Electric Muff Chuckler, Fecal Finger of Fate, Just Ellen, Just John, Just Alex, Just Mike, Just Cathy, ZZ Bottom, Extra Creamy Dog Crap, Bobbin4buttplugs, Fossil and Grand Mattress.  To get the pack warmed up for the run the hares began dispersing beer prior to the run to keep the pack from staying in their cars.


The walkers trail went into the residential area right away while the runners trail went up the power lines across some open fields and eventually into the same residential area that the walkers started in.  It continued on to a swampy area with shoe sucking mud where the two trails merged.  The pack got disoriented for a few minutes at the next check when some wanker called on on after only two marks.  This put the pack in a tizzy, however true trail was soon found and the pack proceeded to a small (well less than 5′) tunnel with the shot stop promishing to be on the other end.  Vertically challenged Fire in the Hole could not understand why everyone was mumbling about the height of the tunnel as she considered it to be the perfect height.  Soon after the shot stop the trail went along a berm and across an open field where eventually the first beer stop was found at a gazebo at a reservoir.  This time the hares were manning the beer stop to keep  the ticks from drinking most of the beer like they did on last weeks run.  A count of craniums at the beer stop showed that everyone was accounted for with the exception of Fossil and Grand Mattress who had arrived at the start a few minutes after the pack had already left.  However before the pack took off Fossil and Grand Mattress could be seen on the berm about 1 mile away.  The impatient pack took off anyway, and the trail went over a river and then checked-back back over the river (pays off to be a slow running bastard some times), along the reservoir and into more open field and then through a mixture of shiggy and fields.  The second beer stop was soon sniffed out and the pack reconvened at that point.  The pack was short of EMC and Fire in the Hole at this point so rumors were soon started about them.  I can truly say, I do not start rumors but only spread them.  The trail then went through the residential area, into some shiggy and then  on to Church road, over Rte 50, and then back to the start.  It was noted that this area was covered by the hare about a year ago, but this trail vastly improved upon it by adding much more shiggy, the tunnel and moving the 2nd beer stop to a nice green area instead of an open field with discarded furniture.  Doesn’t somebody still have that lounger from that long ago trail?


First in was Bobbin4buttplugs who had already set up a Tequila stop and was dispersing the fine sippable Cabo Wabo at the On In to warm everyone up and celebrate a late cinco de mayo.  Last in was EMC and Fire in the Hole who were picked up wandering aimlessly on Church road.  The ordeal was too much for EMC who immediately turned green and indicated that he was going to upchuck if he drank another beer and then left the circle for his car.  This apparently was due to to much “studying” last night, and not due to his running companion.  Other down downs included the hares for the trail, the hares again for reading a book at the second beer stop, that had more words than pictures.  Also, everyone who was a mother or caused someone else to become a mother, Fire in the Hole for Auto Hashing, Long time no see’ers and other multiple down downs in an attempt to kill the beer.


All in all it was a great trail and an excellent way to spend a Sunday Afternoon as an alternative to waiting two hours for brunch.


On On

Saintly Suds and EZ Lipps

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