Hash Trash # 1038 – One Savage Buttplug
Hash # 1038: One Savage Buttplug
Date: 2 March 2008
Hares: Bobbing for Butplugs
Trail: Splendor-in-the-Savaged Grass
Approximately 25 unsuspecting hounds arrived on time and had to wait for chalk-talk until the hare arrived, who provided no excuse for his tardiness. Then Fossil spoke, no one listened, and then there were seductions — one young virgin (well sort of), several Whitehouse brethren Jack-off Lantern and Mr. Magoo, and many more of the usual suspects. Then there were the auto-wankers cumming together at the end, just in time for beer – AmeliaAirhead, ECDC, FayLey, who showed-off her HAZ-mat hash goody bag. Did she drink for that? Oh, and HoseHead who always cums late but found her way to the On-After.
So here’s what happened…Bobbin for Butt Plug committed the most heinous crimes…he abused the pack (rocks, rivers, pricks and a 100 ft precipice), confused the pack (missing flour, missing tennis balls, missing turkey/eagle split), and then pissed off the pack (no shot check, no end in sight). And after 2 hrs and a shitty beer check, the pack eventually found their way back to the start (thanks to Drippi who had a “nose” for direction).
Cervix called for circle and the hare, Bobbin for Butt Plugs, was then thrashed with much savagery, beer and the missing shots. Jack-Off Lantern earned “bragging” rights to the brick for FRB, but he couldn’t take it with him – the hare wanted to keep it for his butt plug collection. Any-Cock’ll-Doo-You amused the pack with his bling, May'oral Fixation got laid across the pathway, Spitz.cum was accused of getting her pussy wet on trail, Noah and Drippi were blowing smoke-signals all through circle, and Pewk- ahontas was running around with her slippers on. The beer-wench, Just Jennifer, was ner’ forgot and never thanked – we are not worthy, so plez cum back and do it for us again.
The pack was then dismissed to continue liberal drinking and debauchery at Savage Mill Ram's Head Rathskeller…for a really long time. Bobbin for Butt Plugs played pool cuz he couldn’t keep the balls for his collection, Noah played chess cuz he couldn’t fondle a chest, AmeliaAirhead had much discourse with Jack-off Lantern, ECDC and then got really excited with Spitz.cum, Gaelick, Drippi, and Cervic were having a ménage-a-twat, and Pewk- ahontas, FayLey, and Just Jennifer were planning to take over the world.
And that’s the way it was, real or imagined. Errors or omissions accepted (so send an e-mail to: firstname.lastname@example.org , if it matters)
On-Sec Scribe: Spitz.cum