Hash Trash #987

Hash House Harriers

From the land of pleasant shiggy

TRASH: Run #987
March 11, 2007
Hare: Sindy Laid Who, Who?

Trash #987 Sunday, March 11, 2007

Sunday was a beautiful day for hashing. It was 60 degrees and sunny with signs of spring in the air. The pack gathered at Riverfront Park in Laurel, MD, to experience a virgin haring by Sindy Laid Who, Who? The trail started along a river with a nice paved path to keep our feet dry and mud-free. It didn’t take long for the pack to wonder when we would be crossing the river. The trail didn’t cross, but went away from it only to cross back and forth through another stream. Our FRBs eagerly ran up the hill that stood in front of us. However, Mayoral Fixation was able to eye the BC13 camouflaged nicely in the sand. The mid-packers and DALs were grateful for his keen eye as they would not have to tromp up the hill, not yet anyway. The pack turned around to find where we had missed our mark and was fooled by Miss Sindy. Three Trick Pony thought it wise that since she had already climbed the hill, to stay on it! This only caused her trouble as she came to the end of the hill to find a steep cliff and the pack running off. Her attempts to yell at Pony Boy to come save her failed, as he had place himself on a hill across the way. The lack of checks kept the pack spread out quite nicely and eventually Tackle Box and Electric Muff Chuckler ditched trail to have sex in the parking lot while the rest of the pack hashed on. The trail continued along the river and then up a very muddy hill where each step took you back two steps. The pack wondered if we had been fooled again, or if this was true trail. The FRBs did not return, so this must be true trail and the pack scurried up. At the top of one of the hills the pack encountered the “beer” check. The pack was greeted with warm water, vegan cupcakes and a box of Franzia. What?! We sat like children at summer camp on the benches eating our cupcakes and drinking our whine. Dashboard Diver was very pleased with the wine and was the first time she didn’t whine at a beer check. The rest of the pack thought, “This stuff isn’t half bad.” After our cupcakes and whine, we continued on, this time on pavement in a neighborhood. Ranger Dick reminisced of his childhood when he found a Barbie soccer ball on trail and decided to turn the hash into a game of dodge ball, stopping suddenly on trail to pelt the sorry suckers behind him with the ball. The trail eventually went through Main Street in Laurel where the pack passed a few Five-Os. Some of the hashers missed the unmarked left turn, others wondered why marks stopped, leading to the searching of the unmarked turn. The unmarked left turn led the pack to the final bit of the trail which went along the paved path of Riverfront Park . Our RAs were MIA yet again, so Ranger Dick took over as stand-in RA and lead circle. Down-downs were given to our hare and her helper hare, Just Aaron. We didn’t have any virgins or visitors. Long time no-seers (hadn’t hashed in the past month): Amazon, Cyberspunk, Peace O’Chum, Mayoral Fixation, Strange Ground Chuck, Back Seat Box, Extra Creamy Dog Crap, Amelia Airhead, Slowman, Gaelick, Just Kat, Just Aaron, and Dashboard Diver. Violations were given to: Just Kat- being capable of driving her car to the hash, but not being able to manage the clutch and stick to park the car, Gaelick- new shoes, Amazon and Tackle Box- race gear, Amazon- being late to the hash because she forgot to set her clock ahead, Drippi- imitating John Travolta on trail, Mayoral Fixation- enjoying being goosed by ECDC, ECDC- goosing Mayoral, Electric Muff Chuckler- being caught between Three Trick Pony and Dashboard Diver while they were peeing, and Amelia and Slowman for smooching on trail. Two namings were performed: Just Kat is from Hopington, Mass, she was wearing identical clothes as Gaelick, her favorite sexual position is “yes”, she walked into a glass door drunk at her last naming attempt, she’s in the navy. Nominations for names were: Quick Release, Easy Access, Yes I Can’t Drive Stick, (about this time Slowman’s turrets kicked in and he started spiting out any old name), What Door?, Adoorable, EmbarAssed, Doesn’t Do Stick, Doonk, Chocking on the Stick, Clutching the Stick, No Licky Sticky, and Clutch Factor. After a few rounds of narrowing the choices down, it came to Easy Access and What Door? Hands were held up in a vote and Easy Access won 10 to 9. Just Aaron is from Albany, Oregon, he is a linguist analyst, he has one brother, moved to MD for a government job, went to Cornell, he was wearing a bandage on his thumb because he had warts frozen off, he made vegan cupcakes for the “beer” check and his favorite barnyard animal is the sheep, “by far.” Ranger Dick told him, “Ok Captain Cupcake, get out of here so we can name you.” At that point, the hash knew what Just Aaron’s name would be. He didn’t go far, before the pack tried to attempt topping RD’s Captain Cupcake reference, but only got as far as Oregon Analyst. Just Aaron was yelled out to get back to the circle before he even had a chance to get to the parking lot. He will forever more be known as Captain Cupcake. Announcements- Old Fart’s Green Dress Run is next Saturday. BA camping weekend is June 9 and 10. Email At Your Cervix to volunteer to help. Volunteers needed to cook dinner (Saturday), cook breakfast (Sunday), and clean up (Sunday). The On-After was at the Red Hot and Blue, a BBQ joint picked by our vegan hare.

~Peace O'Chum

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