Hash Trash #887

April 10, 2004 

Trail Notes:

CHESAPEAKE BEACH – It seems our parking host Dave didn’t get any kisses at Griffin’s pub, but it was such a nice day, he almost joined us at Fossil’s birthday hash!

Though many of you claim Fossil is the missing link, he has only celebrated his 27th

birthday with his beloved hash for barely over a century! He still tells jokes of his college roommate Josef Stalin. Now THOSE were the shiggy daze.


Beautiful day, if you missed it, you missed the first most beautiful day of the year. And what a trail – orange mud, multiple tunnels, chicks ripping off their shirts in the

blazing sun, boys with shorts wet to their skin – WAKE UP! This is not a Forum letter!

With nary a virgin in sight of the beachfront and barely an iota of a chalktalk, the pack scurried down the pavement in search of their favorite bevvie – beerah! After ECDC grabbed a few juicy asses, some FRB tore into the woods claiming they

smelled flour. Probably just more juicy athletic asses.

Somewhere deep in the toxic waste portion of the Chesapeake water table, a lone oak bore the sign of T/E.

Didn’t Fossil tell us the trail would have a Tuff/Eazy split?

Opting for the EZ trail, Peter Puller and Back Seat Box scrambled up the hill with the

rest of the FRB SOBs, alas, never to be seen again until the hot tub be bubblin.

Moda Foda was a real tropper schlepping through the iridescent mud (remember the

toxic waste portion of the trail?) scattering 3-eyed frogs as she splashed. Somewhere in there, EJ contracted his first episode of P.I. while At Your Cervix, Love Bug, and KY were afraid to take the tunnels. Probably not a bad idea, when you realize it

was knee deep to Moda Foda.

Tearing through the woods like gazellettes, Hi D. Ho and $30 BJ swore they’d catch the wankers on the TUFF trail. They uprooted trees, shrubs, and flowers in a mad dash and when they caught up, they scared EJ so much he had to change his pants for the soiling therein.

$30 BJ said it had been such a good day that she was hot before she got there. If that’s

the case, how will she feel at her first haring adventure, dressed as a naughty school girl?

S.H.I.T. H3 (So Happy It’s Tuesday) was well represented in dominating the day’s crowd. Socket battled her way through the shiggy, with a broken toe no less. Probably just a way to finagle some health insurance off our tax dollars. Udder Ho found a stash of beer and wouldn’t share. Then a new Watergate scandal – but this one was environmental: The hares committed one of the foulest of sins – not only did

they lay a shitty trail, but they committed a major environmental offence. Watergate found the rotting carcass of a bag of flour on trail. The dam hares actually left a bag of flour on trail as litter. For shame, for shame. Bad hares.

One hill to go! That damn Fossil intentionally placed his house at the top of a nasty hill so he could watch whining hashers climb in exhaustion. “The hot tub is ready” chanted Fossil in his best teasing siren song. Clever hares laid a perfect trail guiding the walkers to the beer before the greedy runners could get their muddy & bleeding paws on it.

With a keg, backporch tanning, and some veddy hott curry, Fossil and his cohosts treated us to a lovely tabord. Not to be outdone, MF & P.T.T. treated themselves to a lovely bubbling

Other back porch news – 13 piercings you say? I can only count 1, 2, 3, ohhhhhh – maybe this is a forum letter – purrrrrr.

As far as a glimpse into the future of hashing: Where was our boy Frank Lloyd thong to promote his own hash next week? Probably nursing that bum ankle.

Rumor has it, there will be prizes for the best school girl outfit at the first ever Naughty School Girl hash. And with Hi. D. Ho and $30 Blowjob haring, who knows where we’ll find a hot tub. Just hope they don’t ruin those cute little saddle shoes.



Hares: Fossil, Stick it in my

Socket, Watergate,

Udder Ho.

KY thru 12

L’il Buddy

Ben D. Hogover

Just James – virgin again

Ranger Dick

Just John

Evil Jesus


At your Cervix

Come on Down

LoveBug 69

Moda Foda

Back Seat Box

Extra Creamy Dog Crap

Periodic Table Dancer

Diddler on the Roof

Just Leeah

Hi. D. Ho

$30 Blowjob

Whole 9 Yards

Peter Puller




Love Canal


*Shut the fuckup, you asshole.

Violators & Violations

Hares – Fossil, Stick it in my

Socket, Watergate, Udder Ho.

Environmental Violations – All

the damn hares

And Evil Jesus for typing this

f*cking thing on a Mac…grrr


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