Category Archives: Hash Trash

BAH2 1292 – I’m Tho Thor and One Night Stand

I’m Tho Thor is the man of the hour;
He rocks a skinhead look and believes in white flour!

Thor says he got his name from a pain in his gland caused by hand via One Night Stand
who took him for a ride in his big black cop car, and bought him a special drink at a nearby bar,
and made his finger stink up Thor’s ass this far.


Hey what do you expect for 6 bucks. 
To next week and possible cleverness.
On on

BAH3 1268 – Amazon’s Doggie Style


After a fabulous and well marked (yes, seriously) trail devoted to Dogs by Amazon, Mistress of Shiggy and Pain, our 4 legged friends layed down this rap:
Well I’m everybody’s favorite,
I’m the D O G;
and everybody wanna put their hands on me.
yeah i like to chase squirrels,
and bark at the birds,
then roll with my pack, in other dogs turds.
if i want to play the fool i might sit up and beg;
or if i want to use you like a tool,
i might hump your leg.
when my tummy’s upset i eat some grass;
and i use your carpet if i gotta scratch my ass.
now them cats ain’t playas;
they’re brainless nitwits;
i got their number cuz i tasted their shit.
now you ladies think you’re hot with your fake naughty bits;
but all my bitches come with at least 6 tits
down down down
on on


BAH3 1286 – Power of the Pussy


the Power of the Pussy hash featured a rousing fight song to the tune of Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory.
Power, power of the pussy
power, power of the pussy
power, power of the pussy
its the power we obey
Well mine eyes have seen the glory and the power of pussy.
Each and every single day, i feel its grip on me.
It’s just a mucous membrane, but it’s brimmin full of might,
and we all hope to get some pussy here tonight!
The person with the pussy is the one that makes the rules;
religion does not teach you this, nor civics class in school.
Pussy’s had no education, but its our guiding light;
and we all hope to get some pussy here tonight!
Pussy is the food that nourishes our soul;
a complete and balanced diet oozes from that hole.
It feels and smells perfect, and it always tastes just right,
and we hope to get some pussy here tonight!
Down Down Down
On On

BAH3 1280 – Electric Muff Chuckler and JustAri


ah yes
two bald men set trail in a vindictive fashion. it could even be called fierce.
and the crowd responded:
Our cohare pefers to suck liquid from his sack.
Our hare prefers cartoons to licking his girlfriend’s crack.
When she pushes his head down toward her muff
he says “thank you honey but i think i had enough;
i can see how bad you want it the way you’re oozin goo,
but i gotta catch up on some episodes of classic Scooby Doo.”
Now he put the same dedication into this trail with Just Ari;
you gave him six bucks and now i betchoo that you’re sorry.

Hash Trash #1280

The Community College of Baltimore County, Catonsville, once again hosted a motley gathering of characters in search of our most holy beverage, beer, this past Sunday, for BAH3’s 1280th trail. EMC and Just Ari volunteered to find us somewhere interesting to go, and came up with a very pleasant, relaxing, generally quick and easy stroll through some pretty woods and fields. Wait a second, that was not exactly what happened. They punished us severely, had barely enough beer and shots, got us lost, stung, sore, cut, beaten up, and generally set a trail that was exactly what the BAH3 loves. But I get ahead of myself, let me back up.

Hashers gathered. There were many new faces, some virgins, and some of the usual crew. After NEC introduced himself, gave the virgins just enough rope to hang themselves, introduced the hashers, and led us in a prayer, the pack dove into the woods. And that was the last I saw of NEC. The pack made their way, in a respectably squiggly line, down to the Patapsco, where the runners and walkers parted ways. I don’t know exactly how, or where, the runners were supposed to cross the Patapsco, but I do know we were, because the next thing I found was marks going straight up a cliff for a distance of at least nine miles. That was fun, and, luckily, only the beginning. 

Over the next few miles the pack was treated to mud, thorns, hills, rocks, and all manner of generally acceptable shiggy. We also managed to scare some muggles, and eventually, some 3.5 miles after we started, we found EMC with some adult chocolate milk. That was pleasant, but by that time the best part of his shot check was the water he had too. Continuing on, we made it back down to the river, and eventually across it. I think that’s where NEC, using his finely developed sense of hash direction, went no-no on the walkers trail, only to end up arriving back at the start in someone’s car. You might have noticed there’s been no beer check yet. Well, the pack had noticed this as well. Luckily, that lack was eventually remedied, some 5.5 miles and an hour and a half after starting, the beer appeared.

Thankfully it was all downhill from there. Figuratively speaking. It was still uphill to the finish. After the last hashers finally made it to the end (where DID you go Lick Stick?) NEC held a closing circle. Many violators of our holy traditions were given their traditional punishment, the virgins were reintroduced to the circle, and officially deflowered, much beer was drunk. The pack attempted to name Just Ari, but though there were many, many interesting things to learn about that wayward soul, the collective creativity of a few dozen drunk wankers wasn’t quite enough to come up with just the right name, so Just Ari will be Just Ari for at least another week.

Other items of note: hashers hiding underwater after disturbing a bee’s nest. Did anyone get a count of total stings? It was a lot. A very pleasant Orthodox Jew family, apparently out for a stroll, “looking for water”. I hope they told someone they were out there, because they might still be there otherwise.

A Phone Named Gerbil

Hash Trash #1274


Velvet Vulva and At Your Cervix decided they wanted to test the reading comprehension and bullsh*t detecting skills of the hooligans who comprise the BAH3. Unfortunately for far too many of those poor souls, many failed. (That did turn out to be a good thing for the haberdashery, as the sales of shiggy socks were through the roof.) Anyway, some unknown number of thermometer-challenged misfits gathered in a Park & Ride for reasons known only to themselves (and our lord Natty Boh, of course). After an inspiring circle, led by the one and only Any Cock, where the hashers were introduced to, amazingly enough, a virgin, Just Ari, the pack headed off, immediately getting lost, and only moments later, realizing how much bullsh*t the hares had in mind when they suggested “no shiggy” on trail.
For the next week or so, the intrepid pack made their way through brambles, trees, raspberry bushes (yum, by the way), creeks, and all other manner of things we ought to expect when anywhere near Patapsco Park. Some of the highlights that have made their way through the drunken haze to this scribe include: Old Faithful showing up in actual, full, cold-weather gear, shiggy, the virgin running with a scarf (ascot?), shiggy, ZZ Bottom stumbling across a naked man in the river, shiggy, an excellent beer stop including soaking pool, shiggy, and, eventually, the end of the trail.
A closing circle followed, including a live performance of Any Cock’s hare rap. Many violations were brought up, much beer was drunk. Eventually the pack realized they were all standing in a parking lot surrounded by large roads, and only protected by three scraggly trees, and pulled up stakes. On-After ended up at a quite pleasant biker bar, named “Daniel’s”, in Elkridge, where the difference between a kilt and a skirt was loudly discussed by those aforesaid bikers. To my knowledge, no checks were performed at that bar. (Though no comment shall be made about any such checks that might or might not have happened earlier that day…)

BAH3 1254 – Pump N’ Dump, Any Cock’ll DoMe, Tighter Than urAnus

You paid your six bucks for some almost fun, saw some fields and ditches; 
TrickFucked by a fat old man and his two fine white bitches. 
First up is our hot co gm, the fabulous pump n dump; 
Voted most popular cuz of her lovely lady lumps. 
Next is tighter than uranus, with her super muscular twat; 
She can crack your nuts with that thing, or pop your bottle top. 
I know you can agree with me we’d get much satisfaction 
If our cohares would engage in some red hot lesbo action.

BAH3 1250 – Works for Tips, $5 Infection, Tighter Than urAnus


Why do all the women like five dollar infection?
I heard the rumors of his girthy cock cross section;
he used to be so shy, now he’s hashing’s most popular guy.
So i asked him for some tips; straight from the master’s lips.
he said the reason he was haring today with these two hot chicks
was that they both admire men without the tips cut off their dicks,
just like the tips that Frizhead works so hard for;
that she plays with and handles and puts in her drawers.
But not like the tips on this Powerpack, pierced by two titty rings;
Honey when you gonna make our dreams come true and give us a look at them things?
– Anycock

BAH3 1273 – Works for Tips and $5 Infection


well Works For Tips had to make a  decision
about dating $5 who has no circumcision;
It was a very high hurdle to get her into bed
and get her to go down on his turtle head
cuz she spends all day cutting off dick tips
and when she sees one on a man she wants to snip snip snip
– Anycock
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