Hash Trash #1323 – Amazon

M4W (BAH3 #1323 Trash)

Tall, usually kilted, only occasionally grumpy hasher seeking hariette.

Me: Love to hash. Often show up early to start, where I can enjoy the amazing views of whatever house the hashers decide to invade on a random Sunday. Enjoys hanging out with Sex Apnea, Just Robb, Lick Stick, and Fossil.

You: Have a pulse. At least 51% female. Like to get to start before hare appears, but willing to wait around for 30-45 minutes if that’s what it takes for the hare to show up. Fan of Dump ‘n Scrunch, 5$I, TTuA, and Dr. Strangelove.

Me: Enjoys long walks on the beach. Especially when that beach is made of of huge rocks, is assaulted by cold, grey waves, and has no particularly appealing view. Fancies running from NEC, Standard Deviant, Choke Out, and Old Faithful.

You: Happy to climb sheer cliffs to make your way into and over private property, apartment complexes, not nearly enough roads, and anything else you can find on your way to a random van for liquor. (Van provided by Lil Flour but only after he decided he wanted to park ALL THE CARS in front of his own vehicle, and only then realize he needed a way to get shots out of the driveway. Thanks for the loan Dr. Strangelove!) BFFs with Cleanup and Pvt Skinflute.

Me: Always up for a sprint across a golf course.

You: Fan of long walks through the woods, especially when those walks can go through the same trails four, five, six or more times on one trip.

Me: Super excited when I can finish a trail without getting bloody, finding poison ivy, or attracting ticks. (Note: attached map does not show such a trail…)

You: Always willing to get into a hot tub, no matter how many unwashed and/or unwanted heathens might already be there.

Me: Love celebrating friends’ birthdays, especially their twenty-fourth. Happy Birthday Amazon!

You: Understand that sometimes it’s cold, and, you know, some people are showers, and some are growers. Either way, ticks need to be removed much earlier than a week after the hash.

Me: A Phone Named Gerbil. (Call me!)