Hash Trash #1194

ah yes freezing cold like 26, windchill in the teens, blowing snow. a bad day to be outside if you are lame or weak, or smart enough to be inside. in other words perfect for hashing, not for the feint of heart or strong of mind. yes many of you lessers missed it.

ECDCs big white molester van marked our destination. no hare in sight. frozen in woods maybe. soon he ambles up from a clearing and notes that only the stupidest of the stupid had shown up. something about someone named darwin. first Fey Ley and one other moron arrived, then the masses poured in, or at least 4 more goofs, including standard deviant, $5 infection, too sexy, and recent transplant to the area Just Ben. and omg he has the most amazing resemblance to joe flacco’s stunt double, whoever that is. yes that’s whomever, peasants. just to let you know that i know.

we all reviewed ECDC’s impeccable, self explanatory chalk talk markings, completely intelligible even if you showed up late, stoned, and freezing. too bad no one would see any of them as the flour has a remarkable tendency to blend in with the snow, now covering everything with the wind whipping it everywhere.  we offer a quick prayer to our beergod and his only eyed son natty boh and split. then Fey decides on uggs and a giant blanket, perhaps in case we want to have a picnic later in the meadow. probably a good idea since a quarter of a mile later, the hare rescues us from wandering markless in a field formerly covered with grass. off we go again, and into rolling open woods, where the wind blows the snow sideways into the tree bark, looking like, um flour markings. Just Ben, the FNG, shares most FRBing with Dev. later we meet up with the hare, sweeping to ensure our safety, possibly feeling guilty becasue there was no beer check. the nerve. he comments how he might be a little lost himself as “everything looks so different covered in snow.” thats because its white. oh but he knew he trickfucked us with a long and dirty meanspirited false trail. which fortunately he alerted us to because we didnt notice we were standing on the false trail mark. Some more guessing and we’re finally on in, about 1+20 after starting. todally bichen.

A short service followed. ECDC had brought enough beer to supply 60 hashers instead of 6 and it must be noted he is one of the few hares that can’t even drink the beer he buys. sucker.  the congregation ejaculated spontaneously:

 

Well its ECDC of the BAH3

he bellows like an ox and he’s Gluten Free; if he mated with Just Colleen, then there might be 3.

So ambitious little ladies, you take a ride in his van;

Uncle Creamy’s got 5 bucks and a job for your hand.

 

thence shortly to the cleansing of our souls by the majesty of our savior natty boh and the power of our songs of redemption. $5I produced a violation- who knows what for- and a song, which he said were both firsts. we held hands to mark the moment. other crazy hijinks happend like that occur when you are slowly freezing to death. and all of a sudden it was to the on after for mexi food, where even if the hare cant drink the stuff he got us some pitchers in a bald attempt to buy our affection.which worked i might add. now we like him. now its time for the rest of you to buy the affection of the Majestic Sexy Six of 1194.

A great trail, and a very generous hare. on on to 1195.