Hash Trash #1162
It was… a moving experience. hah hah hah. see how funny?! moving. yes the joke was on us. again. a trio of boneheads fooled the senseless. A fine trail put on by Electric Muff Chuckler Canned P, and Gaelick at the Benjamin Banneker hisotical park in historical Oella. The trail was A to B to C and featured much driving around in cars or ECDC’s gigantic van. plus rain, washed out marks, some really memorable hills and a deep dangerous river crossing. so that was fun.
Proving that Hashers are a helpful lot, a pile of Wankers showed up responding to Gaelick’s begging about moving her belongings into a big pod in her driveway where she has to live until she learns to behave. The size of the mob grew as the lost found their way to the start. Our Omnicient Religious Advisor Bobbin 4 ButtPlugs circled us for some prayer and and chalk talk by the Hares. There ensued disagreement on whether the trail was A to A or B to A or A to B and then C and whether we needed a dry bag or not. CP gave us four different versions so at last we were unprepared for anything. and we’re off. Some roads await, roads that were formerly marked with flour before the rain. Wankers spread far and wide searching for trail. ah but enough random wandering and people get On. the On On calls go out and soon wankers are joining from all over. thence to shiggy. yay. some great rocky uphill and downhill. a good stretch of wet and muddy. a deep river crossing that i must admit was cooold and quite fast moving. Just Ellen chose to swim. oh not there, in some nearby mudhole. Fey showed what a hypocrite she is by removing her kilt so as not to get it wet but was clad in underwear. that makes it a skirt right? Poser. Stuffed took it as an opportunity to exercise her rights to demand whatever she wants as a preggo and tall Wankers were drafted to ferry her across the water. excuse me she’s worried about bad bactreria in her girl parts and she sleeps w Bunker Beater? hello. Chauvenists ECDC, Just Rob, ZZB3 all hung around in the chest high water to await the arrival of DFL Miracki , tiptoeing through the shiggy.
Ater a tasty beer check and endless trails we are On In. A cooler is left for the crowd while the Hares get ECDC to bring back the giant molester van of love and haul wankers back to A where they can get their cars and go to C if they want any beer. Trickery! Trickery! Meanwhile Amazon, Fey, and I debate the worlds great issues during the car ride, like how men can be so shallow and whether fat women can be hot. Amazon decries the weakness of the gutless mass of fashion desperados as she bats her startlingly electric unnatural blue eyes and discusses the merits of a boob job. (editorial note: please don’t) We hang out and drink awaiting other hashers. No Child left behind squeals donuts in the parking lot in her sports car. Wankers move to the Gaelick residence, where the moving began in ernest.
Cheap Ass Gigolo looked like he has moved other people into a pod before and took charge of how things should be crammed in. Always helpful Just Alex and Ponyboy and Saintly Suds and EZ Lipps in fact much of the crowd threw their backs into with gusto heaving furniture and knick knacks into the trailer. Me and Pump N Dump admired the industry of the mob while we helped ourselves to the down down beer. yes. its our dirty little secret. she and i have a thing, a mutual threesome with Just Rob; we all like cheap beer. i noticed that General Ass Pounder also can swill the junk. we are starting a secret sect in the BAH3. Barf Bag also helped us stand around while the others moved.
Finally the orange food started to run out and after endless whining by slackers such as myself, and when moving was complete, our devotions began. The Hares were welcomed and serenaded as such:
So some Hares were all horney, yes it was these three:
Gaelick, CP and EMC.
Gaelick wanted to scissors;
CP wanted to f*ck;
EMC wanted a blow job;
so they were all out of luck.
Virgin Just Matt or Just Max was welcomed and complained there wasn’t enough beer in his down down vessel; so im including him in my secret sect of shitty beer likers.
The hallowed FRB bag was turned over to ZZB3. Long Time No See’ers Muffalotta, Hareless Krishna, Fey Ley! and Mi-Racki Freedom were toasted. Comely Visitor from New Orleans Voodoo H3 Under Cummer was welcomed, festooned in her home hash gear she was treated to a bunch of shiggy much unlike the streets of New O. She wants a BAH3 patch and PonyBoy our stand in Hash Haberdasher promised to look for one. Note: want cool Hash Hab? consider volunteering to be Hash Haberdasher. then all of our Hash gear will be awesome.
A naming ensued for the erstwhile Just John. Amazon who made him as a virgin hasher, declined to provide suitable material for his name. Meanwhile, JJ told us endearing stories of his virginal prom night past when nerds werent as cool as they are today and he turned his date into a glazed donut, earning the moniker Cleanup on Aisle 3, the 3 being for BAH3 i think. Gaelick ordered a bunch of pizzas for the workers. Not to be outdone, EMC took only a small amount of money from HashCash as Hare and donated the rest to the Hash. We are all so nice. Im giving us a big hug.
On On to Memorial Day and BAH3 1163.
Any Cock’ll Do Me