Hash Trash #1158
It was a cool and cloudy day, hinting at the gloom felt by the pack as they gathered at the hospital in Bowie. Oh, wait, that wasn't gloom, it was just their hangovers. The hare's for this run were Slowman, Jazzercise5guys and Any Cock; the latter helped set the trail but had enough sense to disappear for a "family" affair. The low life pack of 26 included hash collectors/harassers EZ Lipps and Saintly Suds, Electric Muff Chuckler, Cervix, Donkey Dick, Layover, BarfBag, Hosehead, Couff, Just Mike, Just Rob, Pump & Dump, FeyLay, Just Kathy (Virgin), Just Ellen, Sex Apnea, ZZ Bottom, Mother Chalker, Extra Creamy Dog Crap, Dr. Fuckalot (Buffalo HHH), Standard Deviant, Amazon, River Runs Druid, Bobbin4Bu**plugs, Gaelick, and Just John who arrived after the pack took off.
The pack was a little more confused than normal at the start as the first check kept them sniffing around for a few minutes. However, on-on was soon heard and the pack went down the street into the woods before coming out into a development, past a school and then back into the woods and into some knee high swamp water and a drainage ditch. At this point I have to wing it as EZ Lipps and myself decided to stay on the high ground and cut back into the trail right around the corner. After running about 3 miles and finding no sign of the pack we asked a bus driver who had a GPS "Where the *uck is Bowie Town Center" The answer was 3.2 miles in the direction we had just cum from. From looking at the GPS we could see that we could make it back to the start by continuing on Church Road and after about a mile we hit trail again on the bridge above Rte 50. The trail jumped off Church road into an orchard and then left to an open field. It then went
a while and then into some more woods and swamp before crossing a stream where a BS was soon to be found without the golden neckar as the hare had long since departed with the beer. The trail when back into the woods and finally back to the start. Thanks Mother Chalker for marking an arrow on a tree so we could short cut a little and get to the circle before beer ran out, since when we arrived the circle was well underway. Down Downs consisted of welcoming our Virgin Just Cathy, our visitor Dr Fuckalot from Buffalo, long time no seeer Donkey Dick, the hare, EZ lipps and me for being last in, ZZ Bottom for FRB, Mother Chalker for being color coordinated, all the kilted hashers numerous times, Bobbin4Bu**plugs for late payment of the hash cash and I was going to get Just John for the same infraction but he came up with the lame excuse that we were already gone when he started and that he could not pay up until we (hash Cash) actually got in from the
trail. I consider this lame because I know we were within 4 miles of the actual trail at least twice and Just John was just not trying hard enough to find us. Down Downs were quickly finished when someone from the Hospital asked us in leave ASAP. A moment of silence as observed for Frankfurt Hasher and Internation event organizer "The Wolf" who died on trail recently. The Wolf had many friends in the hashing world and will be fondly remembered and sorely missed.
After the closing of the circle the pack migrated over to the Du Claw brewery at Bowie Town Center for the On-On-On. Slowman offered to buy the first few pictures of beer there with the remaining dregs of his hash cash, so the pack departed the circle in record speed to the Brewery before Slowman could reconsider his offer. The trail was well marked, except in areas EZ and myself were, and the on-on-on had a good turnout. Overall a pleasant way to spend a cloudy Sunday afternoon, even if us shortcutters were on a long pavement longcut for much of it!
Saintly Suds & EZ Lipps