Hash Trash #1155
It was a great day for a hash as the weather was perfect and there was to be a shot stop and a beer stop on the run – what an incentative to run through tick infested woods with lots of poisson Ivy to boot. The pack of 20 gathered around the side of a high school in Bowie as the two hares ZZ Bottom and Fossil explained the trail markings. Fossil’s remark that any check can be a back check put the pack on guard to see what that actually entailed. As this was ZZ Bottom’s virgin lay bets were that this could be closer to an Amazon type trail than the trail of the year!The pack conisted of your usual no life wankers including No Child left behind, At your Cervix, Velvet Vulva, Regurga Sex, Canned Pussy, Barf Bag, Layover, Friar Fuck, Muda Foda, Grand Mattress, Bunker Beater, Stuff in your box, Under 25 to ride, Bobbin 4 buttplugs, Just Clark, A River runs Druid, Mr. Beenie Weeinie, Pony Boy and your hash cash thieves EZlipps and Saintly Suds.
The trail went from the school and accross the street into a Mcmansion residential area. The marks must have been layed a bit eariler in the day because they were on the road and most were almost completely worn off by cars running over them. Once the pack realized that we actually had to work together on solving the trail things began to pick up. After a few turns on hash the trail started heading for the woods and then on to a railroad track to a check. This check stumped the pack for a little as the first mark was not found until about 1/4 a mile down the tracks. Down the track the pack went until a diversion into some luscious smelly mud and eventually popped back up to the tracks and a check. This was also the Runner/ Walker split for the walkers that paid attention. The runners went into the shiggy while the walkers stayed on the RR tracks. The runner trail went into shiggy, past a bunch of trees with Poisson Ivy, crossed over s few small streams before ending up at the shot stop just out of the shiggy. At this point two late cummers, Peter Pullen and Cheep Hash Giglo joined the pack, and two walkers (Muda Fuda and CP) that didn’t pay attention also showed up. I do not know what was in the shot stop but I believe that the hares siphoned out some of the gas from one of the packs car to add as a mixture as it had a kick to it. Needless to say this got the pack fired up and down the road they went. The trail went into a park and the pack reverted to their true age and took over the local playground. At the playground there was a check and so the pack scattered out to find the next mark. Marks were scarce there and one of the pack went out to the street and found marks leading to another check. This got the pack back onto the streets. However after checking all the side streets it was determined that this check was actually a back check to the trail in the park. The pack turned around and went back to the playground and into the shiggy they wandered around until they popped out onto pavement a few minutes later. After some more pavement pounding it was back into the woods and then lo and behold it was the beer stop. Our two walkers that paid attention, Velvet Vulva and at your Cervix were just leaving the beer stop when the front runners of the pack arrived who then took off when the late arriving other walkers showed up. From the beer stop the pack went back to pavement pounding and them back into the woods until they hit a water check. The good news was that there was water at the water check – the bad news was that we still had a ways to go to get to the on in. The trail went around a swamp, past a shack that some of the hashers were considering as a possible investment property, or a place to live if their other investments went south, and then back to the start where auto hasher Amelia Airhead was found with beer in hand and one auto hashing walker, CP also was. The beer and snacks were moved to between the two buildings of the school to a less conspicious location and the feeding/drinking frenzy began.
Bobbin started the circle and the hares were rewarded with a down down for a decent trail and a good selection of beer. After their down down they had to run off and locate our missing hasher Muda Fuda who earlier had remarked at the shot stop that she made it there without getting too wet so it was hoped she hadn’t fallen into a swamp. During the circle No Child Left Behind was showing us the results of “Closing down the bar” the night before by playing possum. This was deamed worthly of a down down as well as some of her co bar closers. Amelia and Canned Pussy were rewarded with a down down for being auto hashers. The hares were also called to cum forth bt were still out looking for our lost hasher. EZlipps and Saintly Suds were called in a stunt livers until the hares could make it back. Finally the hares made it back with Muda Fuda and she finally got a beer for being last in. Various other down downs were given but got lost in the buffalo brain cells.
The pack then proiceded to the On-On-On at DeClaw Brewerly in Bowie Center. Thanks to the hares for an excellent and challenging trail and tasty refreshments afterwards.