Hash Trash #1153

There we were, a couple dozen wankers on a grassy knoll supplied by our grizzled Hash Cash Duo EZ Lipps and Saintly Suds.
Suddenly a shot rang out.
OK not really, that was just to get this started.
But there was a grassy knoll, at least to begin with. And there were wankers. And there was a shot, but that was at the shot check in the middle of the woods.   The warm weather brought out a vast throng of Wankers… Electric Muff Chuckler and his skin tight shirt….  rickety englishman Couff…. Red Hot Hosehead…. spunky Grand Mattress… Park n Ride milled about and interviewed Hashers who would like to carry her car key for her on trail since there was no room on any of her tight tiny clothes… except the requirement is to beat her back to the cars and that is a pretty tall order from what i can see…. that drunky can run… Pony Boy motored in brandishing the new FRB Bag and promptly awarded it as a welcum back to Long Time No See’er Peter Puller, the last bag having apparently been stolen from Standard Deviants car… now seriously. who would steal a rat-ass backpack all ripped up and festooned with junk?  Well this new pretty pink bag already held a bunch of trail detritus and by the end of the day ZZ Bottom III would add a creepy-looking eyeless doll head to it… plus someone, possibly Under 25 to Ride, found an entire deer skull and antlers on trail…  someone picked up a raccoon skull….  and the trail, through a variety of off road terrain, marked a skeleton hind parts of some hapless former deer…. thats alot of skeletons and skulls…. Dude I am starting to wonder about us…. Just Clark returned… why do his clothes always look so neat and clean? His and ZZB3s. Well we know ZZB3 tippy toes around anything wet or muddy on trail…  Everybody’s favorite On On bellower and long Time No See er Extra Creamy Dog Crap dropped by …. found 100yards of bright orange nylon cord on trail and dragged it from the tasty shot check all the way home through the woods and mud helpfully provided by the Hares… ECDC also brought along hash dog Fergus… man that dog likes his beer…  after he was violated afterward, he didn’t even need a stunt liver like SOME hash dogs I know… and lapped up what spilled… well whatever Cheap Ass Gigolo didn’t get…. boy is HE desperate…. well both of them…. CAG cuz he laps up beer from a parking lot, and Fergus because he lives with ECDC….  Cervix joined us…… didn’t do anything stupid though……. Regurgasex…..unbelievably, he didn’t do anything stupid either…  A River Runs Druid…. we got him to show us what was under that bandana he always wears… OMG you wouldn’t believe it…..  we were also treated to the inimitable chicken squawk and legendary letching of Spew Tube…. Stevie Wunderlick auto hashed…..  hows he stay so tan? im imagining he has thong marks….  Virgin Just Alex joined us… Ok so you know how on an airplane the flight attendant shows you how to buckle and unbuckle the seatbelt? like who in the fuck possibly needs that explanation? Apparently, Hashers do. or Just Alex does anyway. Thinking I was smart, and because I was standing in as your second string but omnipotent Religious Advisor,  i decided to cut out the demonstration in our toasting of our Virgin, to explain the process, but not have someone do a down down demonstration. That was obviously stupid. Poor Alex got yelled at, and everyone felt hurt, bewildered, betrayed. Because of that, I am making this very public and heartfelt apology. I hope you will stand by me and respect my privacy and not camp on my lawn or peer in my windows. sorry i meant to say dont crap on my lawn or pee in my windows.
The trail kicked A, as usual for EZ and Saintly, and we serenaded them thusly afterward:
Now who were the Hares that set this mess?
They look kind of old but they claim theyre still fresh.
Our first hare is the one whose lips are EZ;
she says she can still get it wet, can make it act sleazy.
Her cohare is a man called Saintly;
he can still get it up, even though its only faintly.
Much jocularity and hijinks ensued. Thence to the On After. Old friendships were rekindled, and everyone shared a looong group hug. tears of joy were shed. maybe. 
On On to BAH3 115next
Any Cock’ll Do Me