Hash Trash #1143 – We Likes Our Wimmens Wet

Ah, and their wetness was palpable, in 43 degrees and a steady rain, “miserable” weather if you are one of those people equipped with common sense, and perfect weather if you were one of the hash desperados that took advantage of the beautiful conditions in Hairless Krishna’s soaked muddy mess of a trail. Pulling in about 2:50 pm, we spy the Hare looking lonely, abandoned by his beer check partner Sour Snatch who has regularly pushed their little rugmuffin though unbelievable shiggy in his stroller, so you know it was bad out. The Hare starts to give his chalk talk to the two of us that are there while others roll in. Electric Muff Chuckler ran 3 miles over from home looking typically underdressed. EZ Lipps and Saintly took our cash; Bobbin for Buttplugs, Bunker Beater, Stuffed in my Box, Snotback Mountem milled about; then one of those big child- molester -serial- killer vans pulls up; typical for this park n ride of course. Long Time No See’er Extra Creamy Dog Crap, the finder and bringer of the fringe element of humanity, gets out along with Hash Dog Fergus and in tow is famous Atlanta visitor Cockpit, fresh from terrifying the unsuspecting Every Day is Wednesday. They met in some alley when ECDC asked her to help him put a sofa into his van as his gluten allergy had him feeling poorly. Now that she’s an honorary BAH3 Wanker she has decided to chuck it all and instead of returning to Atlanta is going to live in a pit in ECDC’s basement. Amazon and Lil Flour auto hashed to the start with some lame excuse about root canals and promised they’d be back at the end but if they returned they didn’t find the mudhole we circled in later.

The Hare set off and we counted to 15 then looked for flour and TP in the mud. Little of the trail found pavement, and a large part was bushwhacking straight through the shiggy. footing was somewhere between crazy and impossible. Hills of which there were plenty, were opportunities to crawl on your belly like a reptile or try to use sticks and trees to get up. long traverses along the side of the gradient found us skiing downhill sideways in the mud and leaves.  An abandoned tiny cemetary greeted us in the middle of the woods, the gravestones pushed this way and that from the trees. nice.

A pre laid walker’s trail awaited no one but at least provided extra indicators we were somewhere around a trail. An unmanned beer check diverted our attention and ended up being the rendezvous with EZ and Saintly who didn’t follow much of the first half of the trail. ECDC wandered off on his own as well but we could hear him bellowing in the woods occasionally. And after it was dark out, the bellowing by the Hashers at the On In helped guide those of us in the rear to the end of this mudhole. Mr Buttplugs from Corporate circled us up for some religion at the edge of the woods while we shivered in the rain. No virgins were stupid enough to join us and so we drank for the pure joy of drinking beer in the mud and rain.  Snotback was violated for new shoes and found beer from his shoe to be tasty enough to do it again. Other violations ensued. In summary an adventure of a trail and a lot of work in challenging conditions for the Hare. If you missed it, you are weak and lame, or possibly have some of that common sense i’ve heard people mention.

On On to BAH3 1144!

Any Cock’ll Do Me