Hash Trash #1116 – Death Warmed Over
Well so i think we ALL shed a tear or two. Backseat Box is now officially The Departed, this gangly FRB, hashcasher and faithful BAH3 Wanker, finally heading to Atlanta and reuniting with Minibrew and Microbrew. Man do some people know how to milk it.
Cum back and hash with us anytime pardner, cuz as you can see we could use some help at The Slacker Hash. The Wanker was run off the farm by a mob that included few folks that have been part of the BAH3 more than a year or so, other than the supereffecient Johnnie Cockring, who now simply skips the sluggish formality of actually showing up at the trail, and goes directly to the On After, where he arrived Sunday about noon to "save us a table." A horde of simpletons, plenty of them newish which is always a good thing, managed to meet up at the start, proving again what Mr Barnum or Mr Bailey said about how easy it is to fool some people and over again, and you don’t ever get tired of it…. Just shawn showed… this guy has a lot of energy considering he drives down from baltimwhore, hashes, goes to the on after, and then back to BWhoretown where works HIS VERY OWN BAR WHERE HE CAN SELL BEER CHEAP. Is that dude desperate or what…. perhaps Bobbin wont be carrying the infernal FRB brick if he keep showing up… how did a plastic pumpkin get put on the Brick bag? cuz if we can add things i think he should carry water, specially when the Fing HARES brought like one tiny-ass bottle for a mass of people in 97 degree heat… Talk about HOT…. at the beercheck, B4B took his shirt off and rung it, the water pouring out, riveting the thirsty Harriettes eyes… with his hot abs, trying to flash some skin next to long time no seer Mr Clean, Minnow F*ker, and his entirely hairless body, like a naked mole rat only bigger, minimally clothed throughout the scratchy, poison ivy, shiggy ordeal, god bless the man he must be impervious to shit or desperately vain but i didn’t see any of the harriettes bitching about it. … just laurie returned with more favors to buy our love, this time upping the game considerably by bringing just barbie jennifer who managed to stay spotless thoughout the trail…. just bonnie joined us again… she says volunteers have really picked up at the firehouse now since she started living there full time … her just scary ink matt returned, this time with shiggy appropriate Hot Red knee socks that i am sure would go over well at the union hall… just Bethany sent Moobs to play campout at one of those Brand X Hashes and she joined us… our hashcasher duo Ez Lipps and Saintly Suds finally decided to collect some money…. another long time no seer Couff with a soul patch and cosmopolitan background now adds street cred to our Hash with his natty Brit accent…. cuz we have an authentic Motherlander and can now make jokes about the Queen… dude hashed here in 95? or earlier.. welcum back your life has obviously drifted way off course… …. just kim hit us up with her Over The Knee Naughty Schoolgirl socks, the kind that are required shool attire in Japan….. just Virgin Matt came by, a lightly larger version of walk my bitch, and hell i think laurie brought him too…. woman can obviously talk people into anything.. Schmegg auto-hashed in… shaved the prison pussy goatee…. says the vids of the lit sparklers up his ass while he writhes in the dirt will be up soon…. he really sets the bar…. what are YOU doing for your Hash today…? …… Film at 11, OMG she has a…. Running Coach…. are you hearing me? how did we miss that in the violations… OK enough of Where All the Cool People Were on Sunday.
Mayorall Fixation, the lovely Cumrade Pisonya, and Just Oksana, distant heir to the Russian Throne under Czar Nicholas the Penetrator, took the stage and attempted to explain the marks. First indication somethings wrong: none of them knew anything about the trail.
great. we go though a giant cemetary for a mile and a half in a big circle adding distance, and the ire of an mourner or two… hey we feel your pain, but sorry buddy, but its the Hares fault, look where he has us running and crawling under the fence to get out like a bunch of crazy sweaty people escaping from the asylum yards. but we DID get a bitchen soccer ball out of the bargain, which Froggy and others kicked through the grounds and then the wimp girl carried it the rest of the way on trail. well i think she did; she was way out FRBing and i was way back DFLing… the girl also left us gone back to missippi or some other swampland state to study critters… like, BackSeat Box, please come back…. only since you are more attractrive if it ever comes down where we have to choose one of you, you get our vote.. sorry BSB… OK so the trail wound through much great territory, the rich land between 178 and the Severn is all horse-countryish and nice adn rich.. when the end of the world comes, we raid THEM…. so a big meandering loop, up and down, on existing trails, bushwhacking, and some swamps, one measly ass beer check…. water… need water….. a pool mirage…. lots of crisscrossy trails… the Mob actually prematurely found the end, and if this isn’t really sad, we went back to find the real trail. talk about wanting alot for your 6 bucks. but we did manage to find the trail… unfortunately…. btw YES PLEASE MARK YOUR CHECKS…. remember to bring sidewalk chalk if you can and help mark as you go… the DFLers are slow enough without having to search for the trail… BSB playing Sweep for the very last time, helping the clueless… Film went swimming in the swamp, then got her ass stung by a bee, screamed and jumped… and then stood there while more bees stung her….. Running Coach should cover What to Do When Bees Sting You….. Safety Violation for the Hares was called for… but who knows where the safety thurd is.. probly back of velvet’s trunk…
At the circle, mayorall claimed he used 3 bags of flour – over and over- and the trail got rained on. Thus, no marks. Act of god. Puffed his pipe. QED. fact: this happens everytime he hares… well i will say the Hares DID seem to get violated alot at the circle… but thats cuz we love them… especially the hot russian mob…. you know they took hairless muscle guy minnow f*ker back to the dacha in the back of a giant Zil limo, opening their fur coats to show him what theyre not wearing, clinking champagne glasses on either side of the reclining Mayoral, caviar and cracker crumbs stuck in his stomach hair.
other things happened at the circle and a great time was had by all after we figured out how to get the beer arranged. JB beer bitched with gusto, trying to keep like 19 extra cups at all times. girl, we arent absolutely requirted to use every ounce of beer. but youre good at making us do it. anyway, all kind of hijinks ensured.. then everybody left. Perhaps Film has more to add. hope we see you there again.