Hash Trash #1100 – AGM
Hares: Pony Boy and Amazon
This years AGM was a magical combination of heat, long distance, and ass cake. Pony Boy and Amazon must have channeled the Energizer Bunny while scouting because this trail kept going, and going, and going. It marked in at eight miles and the hares still wanted to add more. Have they no mercy? Dont they know were thirsty?
Sure, there were a few hiccups along the way. Somehow the turkey and eagle trails were switched and a beer check was passed up. Not to worry Amazon and Film reeled the group in for an impromptu beer check before sending them On-In. And maybe the keg was killed by the time the pack began trickling in (which certainly had NOTHING to do with Amazon and Film staying back at camp) but soon enough eight or so cases of Yeungling appeared and all were happy.
So we set about circling up. Pony Boy announced that he was up for anything as long as we did it in the garage with the doors closed. Hmmm maybe he wasnt talking about circle after all. Off to the garage we went with the doors wide open. For a while it seemed that we were in the clear but then SHE pulled up. I can hear the F*ck You song all the way around the corner! We were busted. Three Trick asserted her authority and the doors were closed, forever depriving the neighbors of our joyous celebration.
We announced this years stellar Mismanagement line-up and showed our gracious appreciation to the departing members – Budweiser down-downs for the lot of them. Talk about crap – where the hell was the Natty Bo? Slowman handed the RA reigns over to Any Cockll Do Me and the violations ensued. One of the virgins (his name is failing me Just something that starts with a P) showed up as FRB. TubSlut and Hand Full of C*ck shared DFL duties. We baptized our virgins – FRB guy, two hot sisters, and Just John, who seems to have found his calling in hashing. So much so that he even sent a thank you note afterwards. Snot Back was called out for chivalry after he broke down in tears on trail thinking that we had forever lost the hot chicks. This surely wasnt to go unnoticed by the other harriettes and Grand Mattress immediately pounced on him for calling the rest of us dog shit.
Amazon was awarded for haring the most trails in BAH3 history and was presented with a beautiful, custom made, one-of-a-kind trophy. Pony Boy took the honors for Trail of the Year with his 69 Beer Check Trail and the luscious Velvet Vulva presented him with a kick-ass BAH3 windsock. Much more happened in this sweltering, closed door garage circle but I cant seem to recall the details because the mental image of MayOral Fixations bare ass molesting Cumrade Pissonya is permanently emblazoned on my brain.
Circle wrapped up and the party carried on into the wee hours of the next day. Along the way there was an ass cake, some body shots, soaking wet virgins, underwear filled with whipped cream, and most any other form of nonsense and debauchery you can imagine. You know, a typical Sunday in the life of the BAH3!