Hash Trash #1096 – Taking it From the Rear
Hare: Bobbin’ 4 Buttplugs
The hash gods were smiling (mostly at our stupidity) and gifted us with a beautiful 70 degree day for an unforgettable scenic Laurel trail. The usual suspects, a visitor or two and a virgin stepped up for the three hour tour. Bobbin’ pulled out all the stops on this one; private property, BGE property, horses, horse manure, scenic lake views… and one other thing… what was it? Oh yeah, a trail run NO-NO! Here’s a classic – how many hashers does it take to figure out that NO-NO is ON-ON backwards? Apparently at least half the pack because they stood at the top of the hill dumfounded by our shouts of encouragement to follow.
Some returned to the woods in search of the eternal enlightenment promised by r*nning the trail in its intended sequence. Other forged on, giddy at the thought that continuing NO-NO would actually land them at the beer check sooner. Pure genius. The delirious group spotted Bobbin’s Shaggin’ Wagon from the hill but Bobbin’ was no where to be found. Undeterred, Amelia Airhead and Grand Mattress enlisted their B&E skills and soon there was beer for all the hashers! After eluding the WSSC rent-a-cop, we retreated to the privacy of the woods to the site of the official beer check. We forged on through the forest maze and back into suburban utopia. Along the way, FeyLAY! had a personal moment with a chain link fence and there was an impromptu log rolling competition. We managed to finish our backward trail only skirting a small portion to avoid the grandmother who fiercely protected the theoretical nature preserve.
Back at base camp, Standard Deviant was named FRB. A foot race between VD and Lil’ Flour left Lil’ Flour holding DFL honors. Pony Boy circled a pack that was thirsty for blood and violated Bobbin’ for anything and everything. We welcomed our Virgin, Just Ory, who is from Laurel by way of Iceland. May’Oral Fixation crooned to us, Pony Boy christened the replacement Safety Third, and Grand Mattress actually complimented us for a change! Scooby Doo Me came bearing gifts of Hawaii which were awarded via a “Look Ma, No Hands” down-down competition. Standard Deviant amazed us all with his speed and agility and was named winner of the hula girl duster. In the spirit of No Beer Left Behind, the pack lingered to drain the last of the nectar before invading our favorite Laurel haunt, the Main Street Grille. Many thanks to Dave and his lovely wife Kathy for once again allowing us to be ourselves in public and not calling the police.
ON-ON to Green Dress!