Hash Trash #1089 – Who Has The BandAids?
Hare: Extra Creamy Dog Crap
Agonizing screams of pain and cries for help could be heard for miles. All the while, the hare sat back in his warm van, wearing a sinister grin, and simply laughed. Without doubt this was an Extra Creamy Dog Crap trail and we all now bear the scars of his maliciousness.
ECDC sent us deep into shiggy from the start. Try as he might, the flesh ripping briars, frozen water crossings, rock quarries, and checks hidden in condemned buildings could not dampen the hashers spirits or their quest for beer. Certain that we were on trail, the pack pushed on. Suddenly, ECDC appeared out of nowhere to question where we were going as the trail apparently went in the direction opposite the one we were traveling.
Broken and bleeding, we demanded a beer check. Miraculously, it was on the horizon. And it was indoors!! We forced our way into the warmth of the bar amidst puzzled looks of concern from the civilians. After chugging several pitchers of beer and water (gasp), we braced ourselves to return to the cold. Finally back at the start, we scurried to our cars to don warmer weather.
Circle began and in a movement of justice, we violated the hare repeatedly. Scooby Doo Me took a fair amount of punishment as well having been named honorary beer bitch hare. When one hare drinks, all hares drink! It was far too cold to remember violation worthy accounts from trail but there were some false accusations, florescent pink cowboy boots, and a visitor from Boston promising warmer weather if we went North.
Before closing circle, we questioned Just Mike about his skeletons. Stories of lesbians, ice cream, and vehicular sex abound. It’s always the quiet ones that hold such sordid pasts! The whole damn pack showed up to the OnAfter and our hosts struggled to seat us all. Finally appeased with margaritas in hand, we returned to our task of naming this poor bastard. The pack shouted out recommendations but we narrowed it to three, two of which I have no recollection. Amelia Airhead reined us in and unanimously it was decided – Just Mike is now known in Hashdom as Cruise Cuntrol. Welcome Wanker!
OnOn to the warmth of Mexico,