Hash Trash #1088 – Exiled on Main Street
Hares: Bobbin’ 4 Butt Plugs and Scooby Doo Me
Bobbin’ and Scooby are quickly setting the bar for trail this year. And a live trail at that! This one had a little bit of everything in store for us. We had a virgin, graveyard, used car lot, railroad and highway crossings, swamp, shiggy, water, a damsel in distress, and even managed to lose (but find) a hasher on trail.
Along the way we scored a shot check and a beer check. Once at the beer check, some over achieving types felt the need to move on and finish trail. The rest of us decided to give the hares a very generous lead so we stayed back, froze our arses off, and finished the beer. Talk about sacrifice. Can’t let all that good Moosehead go to waste! As Slowman told us, “Moosehead is a lot like regular head, just messier”. Wait, who said head?!
We fumbled our way through a back check or two and made it to the final railroad crossing. The gang was all there (we thought) so up and over we go, making our way in the direction of Main St. which promised warmer times. Along the way, Lil’ Flour and Pony Boy decided to rescue a damsel in distress. This poor girl had a flat tire backed by a dry rotted spare. She was told to drive her car under no circumstances and joined us in circle.
Violations of the usual sort ensued, but wait! Where’s our DFL? He’s still on trail! We kept a cautious eye but Circle came and went with no sign of Just Pat. Bobbin’ rounded up the search party, broke us into quadrants, and the Hunt For Lost Hasher began. We found him and returned him to his car, not sure that he would ever hash with us again.
All hash matters resolved and pseudo-virgin/damsel Just Nicole in tow, we adjourned to the Main Street Sports Bar & Grill. Just Dave, the owner, pulled out the red carpet for us on this one! This guy’s hashing material for sure. Pitchers arrived almost faster than we could drink them. He joined us in our celebration and even suggested a topless run through the bar and around the building! Who were we to deny him? To the delight and likely dismay of the other patrons, we obliged.
Back at camp, thunderous applause broke out amongst the hashers – Just Pat had forgiven us and joined the On After. Much debate ensued through the evening and it was decided we should wait to name him in circle next week. Naturally, several pitches later, that decision was completely disregarded. His name was chosen almost immediately and Just Pat will now forever be known in Hashdom as… Amber Alert. Welcome Wanker! If you come back next week, we’re tying you to a tree.