Hash Trash #1083
Hares: Fossil, Bowser, and Willie
Passports in hand, we made a run for the border and invaded DC for the 1,083rd running of
the BAH3. The confused gathered in small masses as first, not sure we’d found the right place. But then the floodgates opened and cars appeared from all directions. The BAH3 faithful showed up but were quickly outnumbered by their Southern counterparts. Fossil loaded us up with all the warnings and sent the pack of wild beasts ON their way.
The trail started with a nice gentle climb, something reminiscent of an Everest ascent only with warmer weather. The herd separated quickly but managed to find its way to the Turkey/Eagle split. Most of the pack opted for Eagle and the additional two miles it promised. They must have thought their over achievements would be rewarded by a beer check – talk about dead wrong. Those of us with any sense left took the Turkey split; no sense wasting good beer drinking energy! A strategically placed mud slide landed us directly in the oncoming path of speeding cyclist and rollerbladers. Clearly, safety violations for the hares are in order!
Wankers were attacked by rabid dogs and horses and forced to cross raging rapids – all this with not a drop of alcohol to be found! Somehow, we managed to make our way back to the finish. Fossil promised us beer and sammiches if we could find our way to the OnAfter. Never has a group dispersed so quickly! The pack descended on the Moose Lodge and immediately tended to tapping the keg. Food was ripped from the hands of the delivery person and the indulging began.
Slowman was able to gather the masses into some geometric shape but it was more reminiscent of a funeral than a closing circle. B4B retained his FRB title. Amazon was awarded DFL as she still hasn’t made it off trail (and it’s Monday afternoon!). Jizzercise found herself serving as stunt liver so we put that to good use. The visitors and long time no-see-ers were hauled in and then we realized we were in the presence of greatness. Tumblin’ Bill Patton – the man that brought hashing to America – was here in the flesh! What a cool cat this guy is! But even his presence wasn’t enough to snap the valium laden pack out of their stupor. Violations, songs, and cheer were scarce. What a dismal group. Depression in full swing, we abandoned the keg and everyone went home.
On to serving anti-depressants next week On,