Hash Trash #1075

The promise of exposed breasts brought hashers out of the woodwork for Velvet Vulva’s 3rd Annual Breast Awareness Hash.  Geographical limitations were of no concern as hashers from Pennsylvania and California joined in for the action.  As the overachievers that actually ran trail made their way to the on-in, it was clear they had encountered an abundance of shoe sucking, rotten egg smelling swamp juice to fill their hearts and socks with joy. 

 

We assembled for circle and the festivities began.  Who would have thought that Electric Muff Chuckler had such an impressive rack?  It was hard to maintain eye contact as he spoke – they were mesmerizing!  Never one to disappoint, Any Cock’ll Do Me regaled us with a special song created just for our lovely hare.  Three Trick had left them all in the dust, completing her trifecta as FRB to and from both shot checks straight to the finish.  She quickly became the day’s red-headed step child and received multiple violations amongst accusations of racism.  We violated the old and young, visitors, long-time-no-see’ers, the resilient pavement pounders of Saturday’s DCH4 hash… damn near anyone on two legs was hauled in for downdowns.  Circle wrapped up with a shout out to hashers that have gone before us and Hosehead implored us all to practice good breast health.

 

The tipsy mass then adjourned to Ram’s Head Road House to share their camaraderie with the general public.  Pitcher after pitcher of nectar arrived to the tables.  Along with the usual plotting of world dominance, a movement was undertaken to name Just Julie then and there.  A unanimous decision was made and we circled around the poor unsuspecting soul who is now known in hashdom as Suction Cup.  The poor lass was having trouble finishing her ritualistic downdown so ECDC, being ever chivalrous, grabbed it off the table and dumped it all over her.  This garnered the attention of an elitist manager-type who promptly scolded ECDC, complete with finger wagging, informing him that beer is to be in a pitcher or in a glass but NOT to be poured on people’s heads.  I’m fairly certain that lost soul will never be a hasher.  The good news is I think we are allowed to return to the establishment in 6-9 months. 

 

Surprisingly the staff continued to serve us and the evening devolved into conversations of vibrators, Brazilian waxing, manzilian trimming with shears (dear God man, get some clippers!) and chest hair competitions.  All in all, your usual Sunday evening dinner table banter. 

 

OnOn to Lovettsville,

Film@11

 


 

 

wow now that was a tasty… did i say tasty i meant NASTY run. a wide variety of shiggy and some impressive YBFs and sneaker sucking stinking sticky muck. plus the buttery nipples at the shot check didn't hurt, mommy.
Somehow the Fringe Element of Hashing seemed to know this was the place. Pennsylania- hashing, northern md resident and BAH3er whatshername shows late, told us she hadn't taken her sneakers off since she hashed yesterday in pennsylvania, and was very entertaining volunteering titshots at the circle. ECDC slobbered all over her ample bosom while she drizzled beer down his desperate lapping face. Bring her and her pale young man companion back. Plus, anywhere that hash recycling King running bear dancing bear? shows up is going to get interesting. besides having a real nose for the trail, the man found servicable shot cups on the trail for us to use in the future, cleaned out the recycling bin and washed it. plus he brought that half eaten cake he found in the PetSmart dumpster. or was that his car. now THAT car has a lot of stuff in it. cram-packed to the headliner with flotsam and jetsom and buried under it all in the passenger seat was some kind of a big greasy motor. and the man is always ready to throw down as beer bitch. So come on down, man. Just Julie dished up more of her trail antics; that girl is a true Hasher. by that i mean a simpleton. no matter what she trips over, falls into, or gets stuck in, she is happy with it. now if she could get a car and drive her own ass around, she'd be perfect. she got named Suction Cup at the on after where ECDC was finger wagged by the Ramshead Manager for pouring beer on to Suction Cups head and the floor of the Ramshead Roadhouse.  I don't remember anything else much, but im sure Film@11 will have the scoop; plus she was still trying to drink Walk My Bitch into attractiveness by the time i left the joint. 
the point of this rambling paragraph was to mention the song to the Hare and Breast Expert Velvet Vulva, which spontaneously combusted from the assembled mass, to the tune of BINGO the dog:
 
i know a girl from the BAH3 and Vulva is her name, boy
V-U- L-V-A
V-U-L-V-A
V-U-L-V-A
and Vulva is her name
 
She has 2 3 8 double D's;
make a man or a woman beg on their knees to
V-U-L-V-A
V-U-L-V-A
V-U-L-V-A
and Vulva is her name
 
Now theyre soft and round and smoooth as silk;
one gives beer and the other gives milk
V-U-L-V-A
V-U-L-V-A
V-U-L-V-A
and Vulva is her name
 
So if you want to see this Set
then i suggest you ask Vel Vet
V-U-L-V-A
V-U-L-V-A
V-U-L-V-A
and Vulva is her name
 
On On
Anycocklldo me