Hash Trash #1073
Two bedraggled Geezers invited the intrepid hashers to their favorite haunt, a school play yard, perfect for the nefarious actrivities they had in mind. like setting a trail 10 miles long without one friggen check clever enough to stop the FRBs and give the fat slow out of shape types an opportunity to stop and pant and heave. not that I am one. Maybe having True Trail marks every 25 ft removed some of the mystique. It forced the mob, desperate for a beer check, into an irresponsible short cut through barb wire and ripping shiggy and sewer water drainage ditches. Muffalotta was smart enough to turn around after seeing that if ECDC was going there, it was a Dumb Idea. Well after he warned her. So forget that. She's as dumb as the rest of you wankers.
I am more worried about returning newcummer Reddenpecker who was foolish enough to mistake the schappes shot with a shot of water. Apparently they don't have Shot Checks where he's from in North Carolina. Or they are deathly afraid of drinking too much water. Trojan Slayer has her work cut out for her watching that boy. First of all he was stupid enough to come back after last week's run. Now this.
The mob, handled by our incomparably suave RA SloMan, welcomed the 2 Hares to the circle with a joyful recitation of the childrens playground rhyme:
EZ Lipps and Saintly Suds, sitting in a tree
First cums EZ Lipps, then cums Suds,
premature ejaculates and shoots it in his duds.
For the less erudite amongst you (Amazon), "duds" is colloquial American for "trousers." Virgin Sticklike Rugger Just Laura was called up and even after a demo drink still got it wrong on the Down Down. If she's that dumb I guess we can see that she is fully qualified to continue Hashing. She says she likes a good cross country run, was waay out in front alot and looks like a contender to carry the brick, as well as to be folded up like a taco. She was brung by long time no see er and fellow GaeLick Posse member Just Kelly, who wore the exact same scarf on her head as she did last time. She confided in me that it hides a huge, terrible patch of exzema and that she had promised Gaelick to wear it until she cums home. Some or all the visitors included famous trail environmentalist Running Bear (?) who announced that at long last, he had found the Hares, after they gave him the slip two states and several years ago. Now, he was home and wouldnt never let them go. He was last seen curled up amongst the beer bottles of the recycling bin in the backseat of their car.
Some of the usual crowd included FeyLey whose desperate plea for a ride to the BAH3 Lipps-Suds extravaganza was answered by ECDC or some other sucker, saving her from the humiliation of having to subsist on one of those Brand X Hash runs in The City, and Mother Chalker, FROM one of those Brand X Hashes and who contrived every sort of bad ploy to lech on comely intern Just Julie, who, it must be said, fell for every one of them. Well if she comes back after that, she is frikken hopeless. One notable Long Time No See er was our own GM, Amazon, with a fresh black eye. "Yah well you should see my husband, she said. We got into it over the Palin debate. He said she winked at him and i caught him replaying it over and over. He says I never wink at him. But who would do that. Its gross. He might have blackened my eye, but I broke his legs. That's why he's not here today. I take my sexual lessons from the Preying Mantis." Pro Boner arrived nattily attired in his very own custom designed Hashwear- this is in the space of less than a week, mind you- and was immediately nominated for next year's Hash Hab by Velvet. Noaahh, and Nugget's better half, Walk my Bitch, showed up as bimbo hashers. On After was on the deck at Perrys with 10 dollar pizza and beer specials mmm and a hot lesbo action display between Amazon, some of our white women, probably Fey Ley and Amelia Airhead, and the harried Perry's bartender/waitress just whatshername. OK a bunch of other crap happened too but i don't remember and so that's it. Your editorial corrections are of course always welcomed.
A C Do Me