Hash Trash # 1050 – Crownsville Anal Genital Meeting (AGM)
Date: May 18, 2008
Hare(s): Fossil & Electric Muff Chuckler
Trail: "Crowned" AGM Inaugural 2008 H.U.Y.A. (pronounced “WHOOOO-ya”) Hare-Up-Your-Ass (or Best-of-the-Worst) Award
it was apocalyptic…
it was ama-ZEN…
it was catastrophic…
it was long, painful, and mentally disturbing, then took on the "lunacy" of the near-by mental ward…
it was diabolical as we all fell to our knees and looked to the heavens for G to guide us out of the death-march from hell, the genitalia-swathed bogs, radium-infested swamps, and the numerous forbidden trespasses (WWTP) and transgressions (the YBF with no return) against us…AND it WILL go down in the anals of hash-dome as the BestOfTheWorst HASH 2008…yup.
So…after 2 hrs from the start, two-thirds of the pack was missing. Search party one then deployed and picked up a fore-some several miles away trying to check into the “former” psychiatric center. The second search party then departed and retrieved the three-lost-boys who took a wrong turn. Then, after 3 hrs the intrepid walkers arrived ne’er warn for the wear, with a ménage-a-twat following closely behind (Pyro, Amazon, and Sloman) who looked exhausted after much sex on trail. And FINALLY, after 4 hrs, the one-and-only (drum roll) DFL (ECDC) sauntered in with much rejoicing by all… then we ate (thanks to Backseat Box), drank, and celebrated with well-deserved acrimonious violations for the hares.
2007 H.U.Y.A. Awards
Worst Trail: May’Oral Fixation – “Day after Green Dress-Washed Out-Never Found It” who received the “whoopee” cushion
Best Trail: Amelia Airhead & Sloman received bragging rites and matching “condom-covered” flasks
Repeat Offender: Amazon for all time "consistent worst trail" – received the “pooping” penguin award (eat-able candy-droppings)
2008 Newly Anointed BAH3 Mis-Management
| Amazon.cum | Grand Mattress |
| Sloman | Religious Advisor |
| Electric Muff Chuckler | Religious Advisor |
| Bobbin for Buttplugs | HareRazor/Co-Hash Flash |
| Extra Creamy Dog Crap | Senile HareRazor |
| Spitz.cum | Co-HareRazor/Scribe |
FeyLay |
Hash Flash |
| Back Seat Box | Hash Cash |
| Minnie Brew | Hash Cash |
Velvet Vulva |
Haberdasher |
Fossil |
Co-Haberdasher |
| Ponyboy | Webmucker |
Annie Cock'll DoMe |
Honor-hairy SongMeister |
BestOfTheWorst H.U.Y.A. 2007 (POST MORTEM):
Pig-n-Poke (police related): ECDC for being “rear-ended” by a police car and Honorable Mention to Tour Duh Hash (last event) resonating Velvet Vulva’s plea: “I’ve NEVER done anything WRONG in my life,” and those six-sting police cars with 50+ hashers…”do we run or DO WE RUN”) –could be a new category “Best Quote”?
Best Hash Event: A fare-well-to-arms for Gaelick's send-off to Iraq and her safe and expeditous return…and of course, an honorable-mention for Just Mindy's dog-sitting Nuggett and heroic feats (yet to be revealed) and impending naming…yup.
Most Afflicted (duh): Amazon.cum cuz she kept on laying “little flour”
Most Inflicted: Little Flour (duh)
Best Hash-istory: Backseat Box, Minnie & Micro Brew for their clever “Veteran’s Day” Japanese beer-check staged ne’er the in-famous underground abandoned missile silo – WOW.
First-Class Service/Cattle-call Lust: Annie Cock'll DoMe and beer-wench-daughter providing a wagon-train of First-Class cordials and imported beer ending with Economy-Class incest (no beer “in the end.”)
Least Talley: Not sure, but sometime in the winter, ice-ladden, slippery frickin freezing, and >10?
Most Talley: Not sure, but sometime in the summer, great weather, no excuses, < 35?
HashWhores: FeyLay (DCH4 Haberdasher) & Amelia Airhead (DCH4 RA) for mis-representing both BAH3 and DCH4 Mis-Management …sluts!
Best Food: Mad Dog for the slippery oyster-shrimp-FEST at the 22nd HangOver Hash.
Best “Gimme”: Velvet Vulva for her “vulva” camp chair, ahhhhhh… and OH so much more!
Best HashHarlot: Velvet Vulva for her luscious well exposed breasts…OK…who’s gonna take her on?
Best Incestuous Hash: Backseat Box, Minnie & Micro Brew; Honorable Mention(s) Annie Cock’ll DoMe & Un-Named daughter; and, Pyro, Spitz.cum & Swallows.
Best Whiner: Three Trick Pony (the Jersey Girl) “ya wanna piece of me?”
Best Rookie: Bobbin for ButtPlug (BFB) for his first 4 hr lay…tired where ya?
Best Oral-fixations: Drippi, No-aaah, May’Oral-Fixation with their long, soft, warm, wet cigars, and that puckerd-blow.
Best Mam-mory: Cumrade-Pissonya and her no-show-hare-debacle
Best Acts for Forgiveness: Spitz.cum & Pyro for their 1st hash with BAH3 breaking ALL the rules!
Best Mystery Hares: HoseHead & Ranger Dick…where-the-fuck-RU?
Best Hash-Flash: TBD (photo)
Best Hash-Trash: Self-flagellating, Spitz.cum for this “three-sheets-to-the-wind” scribe of our Anal 2008 AGM H.U.YA. Awards…. THE END.
And that’s the way it was, real or imagined. Errors or omissions accepted, so send an e-mail to: mailto: sallysportahoy@yahoo.com spitz.cum@bah3.com )
Scribe: Spitz.cum