Hash Trash #1043 – Slowman’s Goofy Laugh Out Loud Trail

Hash Trash #1043 – Slowman's Goofy Laugh Out Loud Trail

Date: 29 March 2008

Hare(s): Slowman

Trail: Goofed-up and no Disney Land

It was a perfectly glorious day for everyone to cum and be violated by Slowman, and they did, except for those who came late — Amazon.cum and Little Flour (cuz they’re always late cumming); ECDC and Short & Sassy, a visiting hasher (cuz they were forever lost trying to FIND the start); Canned P*ssy (cuz she was making plans to shop at Wal-Mart); Johnny CockRing (for no reason); and Drippi, whose appearance was almost un-noticed as he “slipped in at the end” just in time for down-downs.

THE START: At approximately 15 minutes after the hare was off to lay a live trail (yeah, right), the pack immediately got lost looking for any signs of flour, so came back and started over again. There was much goofiness as the pack continued to search, then separated into r*nners and walkers, and after about 4-5 miles scampering around wooded erections, fallen crop fields, dirt-bike trails, multiple water crossings, and one reported very scarry gas station – no one succeeded in finding the end. But, May-orally Fixated did herd one group of half-minds, to short-cutting the end, and thus missed the beer check. The rest of the pack did find their way to the beer check (I think), and finally arrived at the end, no goofier then when they started.

Because your On-Scribe, Spitz was forced to drink so much shitty beer in between her 8 oz container of wine while wearing her Minni-Mouse ears, she lost some of her mammaries of the rest of this festive day….but she does remember highlights of circle. Pony Boy and ElectricMuffChuckler eventually, and after much wining from ThreeTrickPony, called the moaning pack of ravenous hounds to circle up – and they did — along with their chairs, burgers and brats, and the liquid of their choice. Accusations and violations were then recorded as follows:

  • Because the hare forgot how to throw flour, how to make sure Little Flour show up at the beer check because he was oh soooooooooo busy making Amazon happy, and how to write de-erections so half-minds couldn’t get lost – Slowman was flogged and violated so he could drink copious amounts of beer and remain goofy forever.
  • Then Amazon, who came in last along with a few others (?#@!?), were all named DFL – and because they could not deny this violation, they all drank, happily – then they planned their next “late cumming.”
  • A long-time hound who has yet to be named (9 runs now!*@?), Just Tony, was named FRB and so received the “brick-pack” from Amelia Airhead, who had forgotten to carry it with her on trail  – so they were both violated and we all rejoiced.
  • This previously mentioned FRB, Just Tony (who I have affectionately and un-officially pre-named “Bush & Bull”), because of his creative, provocative, and consistent method of marking trail with stick penises and bushy branches (te he) was called in to circle – he admitted his indiscretion and received his just reward.
  • The newly anointed BAH3 member, Pillsbury Blow Boy, was called out for something – though I am certain he drank — can’t recall his infraction. Personally, I would have made him drink for simply looking way too much like the handsome, well-quaffed and bronzed actor, George Hamilton (did anyone else see this or was I just blinded by my intoxication)
  • The Dayton visitor, Short & Sassy, got the whole pack excited as she was called into circle and began taking off her shirt(s). But alas, no tits-out-for-the-girls, she just wanted to expose a hash song inscribed on the back of her T-shirt – so she drank for under-exposure and our disappointment.
  • Canned P*ssy (CP) was then chastised for being a “Ho” at Spitz and Pyro’s garden plot and trimming Spitz’ lettuce leaves and Pyro’s cucumber patch – CP was denounced for her crime and forced to drink from her sippy cup.
  • Then the pack called for an un-planned naming of one of two hashers who came with FayLEY — Just Jaremie, who came with his wife, Just Lenna. After much hoopla, sorded stories, and revealing secrets from his wife, Just “J” mooned the pack — and from which arose his hash name – but you would have had to have been there to appreciate the moment. Other names which were ultimately rejected included Commando and Brief Cutter (cuz he lost his briefs on trail and cut off his shorts); See-More-Johnson (you can guess why on this one); Smell My Finger (great story on this one); and few others like Ass Flash, Premature Launch, and Free Willy. But alas, the pack voted, and so henceforth, Just “J“ will be known in the BAH3 and all of hash-dumb from this day forward, as Dark Side of the Moon – DSM was then properly anointed, on his knees, with flour and beer. Stay tuned for Just Lenna’s second cumming and her naming – welcome both of you!
  • Wallflowers and other blurred accusations of the pack involved Cumrade PissOnYa, BarfBag, Muffa-lotta, AtYourCervix, Velvet Vulva, Butt-Plug, Just Diane, Minnie Brew, I'd Rather Vomit, and others (?).

Circle finally ended after 2-hrs and before Spitz could fall over in a drunken stupor, cannot say at this writing, if the 30+ wankers then decided to go back into the woods to show Slowman where he missed flour or if they all got goofier somewhere else. THE END.

P.S. Thanks too Slowman for firing up the burgers & brats and towing your grill, and to Butt Plug who helped and brought home-made brownies. 

And that’s the way it was, real or imagined. Errors or omissions accepted (so send an e-mail to: sallysportahoy@yahoo.com This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , if it matters)

On-Sec Scribe: Spitz.cum