Hash Trash # 1036 – The Gods Are Punishing You Hash
Another beautiful day in Baltimore city and a bunch of hard-core hashers showed up to run Amazon’s 32nd(?) Trail: Minnie Brew, Fossil, At Your Cervix (early withdrawal), Bobbin’ for Buttplugs, Just Drew, Just Jennifer, Edgar Allen ‘Ho, FeyLAY, Extra Creamy Dog Crap (late entry), Little Flour, and Sweet Tina.
After a few hints from the hare, the runners and walkers were off (off trail more often than not), winding through the woods, crossing streams (more often than necessary), and climbing dirt (more often than humanly possible). After a slow start, Bobbin’ for Buttplugs was making his way through the woods shouting on-on and the pack followed only to realize that he had been following plastic debris that had settled on the trees , thinking it was toilet paper (could Amazon really have reached that high?…perhaps.) Late arrival, ECDC, gently took BFB by the hand (they were looking mighty chummy up in the distance) and shared his knowledge of the fine art of finding the F***ing flour (or chalk, toilet paper, whatever). Aimlessly we wandered until Edgar Allen ‘Ho found a faint marking of blue chalk in teeny tiny handwriting on a tree we had been circling for hours. Lucky for us, this was before she pulled something in her leg and was limping for the rest of the run. The walkers , Just Jennifer , Fossil, and Just Drew, were with us, treading where few walkers have dared to go before. Oh hell, we were all walking most of the time. Minnie Brew managed to remain erect for the entire trail. Over, onward, up, down, around and through, (excited?) we ended up in a large field (and some frickin’ green arrow that the hash flash missed) and mounted one more hill through the woods to the hare’s abode. Sweet Tina was there to greet us with a smile (and to let us know there was beer in the ‘fridge).
Ahhh, warm and dry, the group feasted on Amazon’s delicious chili, chicken, cheese and chocolate (we had pasta, too, but didn’t want to f*** up the alliteration). Fossil brought some mighty fine homemade brew and cider to everyone’s delight. We forgot about the circle, but sang Sh*tty Trail to the hare and made her do a down-down. We did NOT talk about immigration, religion, politics, party affiliations, taxes, body parts, sex or dogs.