Hash Trash #1021

greetings,
    Have any of you noticed that some people are
  consistently late to the hash? We have hashed
  @ 3:00pm for the 5+ years that I have hashed
  with BAH3, yet again Johnnie Cockring was late
  to the start. This normally is no big deal but he
  was the HARE. That is the one person that really
  needs to be at the start.
   He phoned instructions to Ranger Dick & myself
  about where the trail started, etc. We were off !!!!!!!
  Various dogs (2 & 4 legged varieties) were zooming
  around between everyone's legs trying to trip us into
  compromising positions (to no avail). After leading us
  through 3 (!) swamps, multiple gullies & NO beer check
  we arrived at a junkyard disguised as the ending circle.
   Now most reasonable thinking hares who were not at the
  start would surely be at the end- NOT. Not only was he not
  there (& more importantly) the BEER was not there !!!!
   Johnnie received multiple down-downs for his numerous
  infractions. Fossil, Amazon & virgin Shannon were violated
  for turning their white dogs brown. Victoria's Secret & Ultra
  Man were visiting & dressed like twins- violation !, additionally
  UM stole a sweater from one of Roadhouse manager's car.
  It didn't fit him, the color was all wrong & it was dirty- what
  was he thinking? (in his defense, the car was in the junkyard,
  had no tags, on jackstands & the window was open). Peter
  Puller was awarded the FRB brick to carry when he hashes
  again next year. 3 Trick & Just Julie were joint DFL's (sex on
  trail ?), why else would make them finish so long after the pack?
   All in all it was a normal Cockring trail.
   
  on-on

At Your Cervix