My Name is Jack
Melody – Itself
My name is Jack (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I'm a necrophiliac (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I fucks dead wimmen (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And I fills 'em full of jism.
I get frustrated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
When they're cremated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Cause try as I must (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I can't fuck dust!
Additional Verses
Each time I pass a cemetery gate,
I whip it out and masturbate.
My name is Judy (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My favorite stiff's a beauty (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Though his pecker's soft and thin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I find his femur slips right in.
Most girls like their guys aware (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Me, I prefer Joe's lifeless stare (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Don't you call me a ghoul (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Just 'cause my Joe's real cool!
Each time I pass the mortuary gate,
My vagina starts to lubricate.
My name is Phil (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I likes my wimmen still (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I whack off in (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
An occupied coffin.
I love wrinkly wimmen (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Who are over sixty-five (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Especially if they died (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
At twenty-five!
Each day I try to copulate,
With my favorite deceased mate.
My name is Mary (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I met my lover through an obituary (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
So what if he's dead (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
At least he doesn't fart in bed.
I like his leathery skin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I can poke it with a pin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And when the worms come out his butt (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I feed them to the mutt!
Every time I see a crematory urn,
My genitals begin to burn.
My name is Ron (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I get a hard-on (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
When I see a redhead (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Who's deader than dead.
You don't polka or waltz (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
With a girl with no pulse (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I like my wimmen old (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I prefer my wimmen cold!
Each time I pass a mausoleum,
My shorts fill up with creaum.
My name is Denise (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My man is deceased (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I think it's wise (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
To love a man who's demised.
I broke into his tomb (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Took him home to my room (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My mother Doris (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Admires his rigor mortis!
Each time I pass the old graveyard,
I find my nipples getting hard.
My name is Mitch (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And I dig a wealthy bitch (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Not because she's really rich (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
But 'cause she's in a six-foot ditch.
Most like their ladies hot (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I rather fancy not (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Just in case you have forgotten (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I prefer my wimmen rotten!
Each time I pass a funeral pyre,
My libido catches fire.
My name is Gertrude (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Now you may think this rather rude (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
But I don't find it crude (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
To go down on a dead dude.
He won't come in my mouth (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
His sex drive has gone south (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
He won't take my money (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And he'll never call me Honey!
Each time I hear a funeral dirge,
I get the old carnal urge.
My name is Paul (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My girl doesn't move at all (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
It's not that she's frigid (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
It's 'cause she's rigid.
Most like their wimmen quick (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Personally, the thought makes me sick (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I fairly dread (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Sleeping with the Undead!
Every time I see a hearse,
My akey-breaky balls ache worse.
My name is Mary Beth (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I'm actually into death (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Once they're dead I don't get high (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I want them AS they die.
As they start to come (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I crush their windpipes with my thumb (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
When my lovers have death spasms (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I enjoy multiple orgasms!
Each time I pass a burial plot,
It stimulates my G-spot.
My name is Earl (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Some people think I'm quite a churl (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I once exhumed a little girl (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I love the way her toenails curl.
I take satisfaction (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
In advanced putrefaction (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Her toothy grin and concave cheek (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Her sexy decomposing reek!
Each time I pass a funeral wake,
I grow a monster one-eyed snake.
My name is Monique (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I'm a necro-lesbian freak (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I love vaginal cavities (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Of expired celebrities.
Once in a very lusty mood (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I dug up Natalie Wood (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I used a casket hoist (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And found her still delectably moist!
When I visit memorial parks,
My pussy starts emitting sparks.
My name is Brucie (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I'm weird and fey and swishy (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
My lover once was hetero (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
But in death he's my special homo.
I used to like to fist him (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I could get my whole hand in (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
But now he's overused (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
His rotting bum is simply huge!
Each time I pass a sarcophagus,
I'm seized with homosexual lust.
My name is Manfred (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Sheep are so hot when they're dead (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I hit and killed one on the road (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And I shot off a mother-load.
I keep my decomposing lambkin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Its starting to lose a lot of skin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
There's parts where you can see its skeleton (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And other parts I like to put my tongue in!
Every time I pass a farm,
My skivvies fill with juices warm.