My Name is Jack

Melody – Itself 

My name is Jack (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I'm a necrophiliac (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I fucks dead wimmen (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

And I fills 'em full of jism.

I get frustrated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

When they're cremated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Cause try as I must (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I can't fuck dust!

Additional Verses 

 

Each time I pass a cemetery gate,

I whip it out and masturbate.

 

My name is Judy (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

My favorite stiff's a beauty (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Though his pecker's soft and thin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I find his femur slips right in.

Most girls like their guys aware (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Me, I prefer Joe's lifeless stare (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Don't you call me a ghoul (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Just 'cause my Joe's real cool!

 

Each time I pass the mortuary gate,

My vagina starts to lubricate.

 

My name is Phil (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I likes my wimmen still (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I whack off in (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

An occupied coffin.

I love wrinkly wimmen (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Who are over sixty-five (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Especially if they died (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

At twenty-five!

Each day I try to copulate,

With my favorite deceased mate.

 

My name is Mary (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I met my lover through an obituary (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

So what if he's dead (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

At least he doesn't fart in bed.

I like his leathery skin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I can poke it with a pin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

And when the worms come out his butt (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I feed them to the mutt!

 

Every time I see a crematory urn,

My genitals begin to burn.

 

My name is Ron (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I get a hard-on (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

When I see a redhead (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Who's deader than dead.

You don't polka or waltz (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

With a girl with no pulse (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I like my wimmen old (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I prefer my wimmen cold!

 

Each time I pass a mausoleum,

My shorts fill up with creaum.

 

My name is Denise (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

My man is deceased (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I think it's wise (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

To love a man who's demised.

I broke into his tomb (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Took him home to my room (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

My mother Doris (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Admires his rigor mortis!

 

Each time I pass the old graveyard,

I find my nipples getting hard.

 

My name is Mitch (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

And I dig a wealthy bitch (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Not because she's really rich (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

But 'cause she's in a six-foot ditch.

Most like their ladies hot (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I rather fancy not (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Just in case you have forgotten (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I prefer my wimmen rotten!

 

Each time I pass a funeral pyre,

My libido catches fire.

 

My name is Gertrude (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Now you may think this rather rude (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

But I don't find it crude (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

To go down on a dead dude.

He won't come in my mouth (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

His sex drive has gone south (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

He won't take my money (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

And he'll never call me Honey!

 

Each time I hear a funeral dirge,

I get the old carnal urge.

 

My name is Paul (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

My girl doesn't move at all (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

It's not that she's frigid (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

It's 'cause she's rigid.

Most like their wimmen quick (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Personally, the thought makes me sick (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I fairly dread (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Sleeping with the Undead!

 

Every time I see a hearse,

My akey-breaky balls ache worse.

 

My name is Mary Beth (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I'm actually into death (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Once they're dead I don't get high (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I want them AS they die.

As they start to come (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I crush their windpipes with my thumb (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

When my lovers have death spasms (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I enjoy multiple orgasms!

 

Each time I pass a burial plot,

It stimulates my G-spot.

 

My name is Earl (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Some people think I'm quite a churl (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I once exhumed a little girl (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I love the way her toenails curl.

I take satisfaction (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

In advanced putrefaction (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Her toothy grin and concave cheek (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Her sexy decomposing reek!

 

Each time I pass a funeral wake,

I grow a monster one-eyed snake.

 

My name is Monique (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I'm a necro-lesbian freak (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I love vaginal cavities (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Of expired celebrities.

Once in a very lusty mood (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I dug up Natalie Wood (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I used a casket hoist (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

And found her still delectably moist!

 

When I visit memorial parks,

My pussy starts emitting sparks.

 

My name is Brucie (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I'm weird and fey and swishy (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

My lover once was hetero (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

But in death he's my special homo.

I used to like to fist him (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I could get my whole hand in (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

But now he's overused (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

His rotting bum is simply huge!

 

Each time I pass a sarcophagus,

I'm seized with homosexual lust.

 

My name is Manfred (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Sheep are so hot when they're dead (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

I hit and killed one on the road (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

And I shot off a mother-load.

I keep my decomposing lambkin  (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

Its starting to lose a lot of skin (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

There's parts where you can see its skeleton (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),

And other parts I like to put my tongue in!

 

Every time I pass a farm,

My skivvies fill with juices warm.