Hash Trash #994
Hash House Harriers
From the land of pleasant shiggy
| TRASH: Run #994
April 29, 2007
Hare: Extra Creamy Dog Crap
What: BAH3 #??? _ The You Can't Drink Liquor On the House Hash
When: Sunday, April 29, 2007 at 3:00 p.m. Where: Maryland City, MD Why: 'Cause You Can't Drink Liquor On the Hash! Hare: Extra Creamy Dog Crap So the d'erections said the entrance to Maryland City Park was right past the school, and to turn in there. So….. there was nothing indicating anything about a Maryland City Park… there were no wankers or ON ON stickers to be seen at the nearby Chuckie Cheese Sports Park… and there was our devious hare (more about him later), in the Brock Bridge Elementary School parking lot. So the four wankers who actually found the start were (in no particular order): Amelia Airhead, Minnie Brew, Fossil & Dinsdale, Ranger Dick, the incredibly hot Amazon.cum & Elsie & (the virgin) Roxy, Slowman, Bolohead Rat, Electric Muff Chuckler, Sounds Like Pushy (visitor from DCH4), Mother Chalker (also from DCH4), Too Sexy, and Felch Monkey. So with visions of traipsing merrily across miles of the promised lush green carpeting on a gorgeous afternoon spurring them on, the pack was off! Across the parking lot. Around the school, and out onto the pavement again. To the first (unsolvable) check. And so it went…. Meanwhile, after the pack was away, it was suggested that our hare looked like a pedophile, camped out in his lawn chair, beer in hand, in an elementary school parking lot. Miffed, Creamy Dog replied, "Hey, I'm no pedo-OH MY GOD!", eyes growing big as saucers. Just as a pair of 12 year old girls, cute as buttons in their tight little soccer unis, jumped out of the bed of a nearby pickup truck. You make the call… So back to the pack – after hundreds of back checks, a little bit of grass, and lots and lots of lush black pavement, after about 2 hours the pack straggled back to the A. For the beer check. Half way. Amelia Airhead was absolutely ravishing as she tottered in off the walkers' trail in her skin-tight Oscar de la Hoya jeans and 5" stiletto heels. Even Dinsdale had wood! And how cute was Creamy Dog's Mini Me (a/k/a Felch Monkey) as he scampered in wearing a blue & yellow running shirt identical to that sported so elegantly by our child mo… [ahem!] hare, but in a size Boys Small?! Ranger Dick came WALKING in, a broken gnome. Slowman, bloody from the waist down, had either deviated (I know, you already knew he was a deviant) off trail for almost a mile in his lust for shiggy before finding any, as he claimed, or tried to seduce a stray cat on trail. You make the call… Greenpeace co-founder Amazon.cum hustled straight to her car, which she had parked on the grass(!), to do a quick lawnjob on school grounds. Spinning, turf-shredding donuts she did, all the while howling at the top of her lungs, "F*ck the planet! F*ck the planet!" Meanwhile, inexplicably, Bolo kept his clothes on. But it wasn't long til mutiny was in the air! United in their refusal to enjoy the second half of the day's lush pavement trail, the pack opted for more of the beverage of the day instead. So a circle was circled, a virgin was sacrificed, innocents were violated, visitors were complimented (hey, she did so SMELL like pushy from downwind!), and songs were muttered. Until, with a belch and a clatter who should appear but 3 Trick Pony, Pony Boy and his new true love Just Elise (i'm talkin FINE, like a lotus flower, that one!). They had tried for hours to find a babysitter before finally relenting and just locking the kids in the closet! (They said it's legal in Joisey.) And so, after a few more bloody shooters out of Fossil's bedpan, we were off to the On After to get a piece. On on!