Hash Trash #887
April 10, 2004
CHESAPEAKE BEACH – It seems our parking host Dave didn’t get any kisses at Griffin’s pub, but it was such a nice day, he almost joined us at Fossil’s birthday hash!
Though many of you claim Fossil is the missing link, he has only celebrated his 27th
birthday with his beloved hash for barely over a century! He still tells jokes of his college roommate Josef Stalin. Now THOSE were the shiggy daze.
Beautiful day, if you missed it, you missed the first most beautiful day of the year. And what a trail – orange mud, multiple tunnels, chicks ripping off their shirts in the
blazing sun, boys with shorts wet to their skin – WAKE UP! This is not a Forum letter!
With nary a virgin in sight of the beachfront and barely an iota of a chalktalk, the pack scurried down the pavement in search of their favorite bevvie – beerah! After ECDC grabbed a few juicy asses, some FRB tore into the woods claiming they
smelled flour. Probably just more juicy athletic asses.
Somewhere deep in the toxic waste portion of the Chesapeake water table, a lone oak bore the sign of T/E.
Didn’t Fossil tell us the trail would have a Tuff/Eazy split?
Opting for the EZ trail, Peter Puller and Back Seat Box scrambled up the hill with the
rest of the FRB SOBs, alas, never to be seen again until the hot tub be bubblin.
Moda Foda was a real tropper schlepping through the iridescent mud (remember the
toxic waste portion of the trail?) scattering 3-eyed frogs as she splashed. Somewhere in there, EJ contracted his first episode of P.I. while At Your Cervix, Love Bug, and KY were afraid to take the tunnels. Probably not a bad idea, when you realize it
was knee deep to Moda Foda.
Tearing through the woods like gazellettes, Hi D. Ho and $30 BJ swore they’d catch the wankers on the TUFF trail. They uprooted trees, shrubs, and flowers in a mad dash and when they caught up, they scared EJ so much he had to change his pants for the soiling therein.
$30 BJ said it had been such a good day that she was hot before she got there. If that’s
the case, how will she feel at her first haring adventure, dressed as a naughty school girl?
S.H.I.T. H3 (So Happy It’s Tuesday) was well represented in dominating the day’s crowd. Socket battled her way through the shiggy, with a broken toe no less. Probably just a way to finagle some health insurance off our tax dollars. Udder Ho found a stash of beer and wouldn’t share. Then a new Watergate scandal – but this one was environmental: The hares committed one of the foulest of sins – not only did
they lay a shitty trail, but they committed a major environmental offence. Watergate found the rotting carcass of a bag of flour on trail. The dam hares actually left a bag of flour on trail as litter. For shame, for shame. Bad hares.
One hill to go! That damn Fossil intentionally placed his house at the top of a nasty hill so he could watch whining hashers climb in exhaustion. “The hot tub is ready” chanted Fossil in his best teasing siren song. Clever hares laid a perfect trail guiding the walkers to the beer before the greedy runners could get their muddy & bleeding paws on it.
With a keg, backporch tanning, and some veddy hott curry, Fossil and his cohosts treated us to a lovely tabord. Not to be outdone, MF & P.T.T. treated themselves to a lovely bubbling
Other back porch news – 13 piercings you say? I can only count 1, 2, 3, ohhhhhh – maybe this is a forum letter – purrrrrr.
As far as a glimpse into the future of hashing: Where was our boy Frank Lloyd thong to promote his own hash next week? Probably nursing that bum ankle.
Rumor has it, there will be prizes for the best school girl outfit at the first ever Naughty School Girl hash. And with Hi. D. Ho and $30 Blowjob haring, who knows where we’ll find a hot tub. Just hope they don’t ruin those cute little saddle shoes.
Hares: Fossil, Stick it in my
KY thru 12
Ben D. Hogover
Just James – virgin again
At your Cervix
Come on Down
Back Seat Box
Extra Creamy Dog Crap
Periodic Table Dancer
Diddler on the Roof
Hi. D. Ho
Whole 9 Yards
*Shut the fuckup, you asshole.
Violators & Violations
Hares – Fossil, Stick it in my
Socket, Watergate, Udder Ho.
Environmental Violations – All
the damn hares
And Evil Jesus for typing this
f*cking thing on a Mac…grrr